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The Inevitability of Hillary: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the election ocean.

So here’s how 2020 unfolds.

Elizabeth Warren is now, as we know, actively colluding with Hillary Clinton. This collusion will bear strange fruit when, as a result of Clinton’s collusion connections, Warren clinches the nomination and gives Hillary the VP slot after the primaries but before the convention. Clinton is an obvious choice for VP; she would “balance the ticket” by being the “moderating middle of the road” influence that would ameliorate the wild and whacky kill the country on day one policies of Warren.

Such a quick-drying humid hotflash of a ticket would have an irresistible allure to formerly-cute women of all ages, races, and sexes.

Warren/Clinton would be too much testosterone for Trump to beat and he just might have to settle for a happyending rather than a second term. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Passion Flower. Complicated business.”

Fast forward January 2021 and it is President Warren and Vice President Clinton together at last. The only lingering (very) small issue is that getting there involved Warren colluding with the Mother of All Collusions Clinton who had colluded with the Russians to get Trump impeached for colluding with Putin. As such Warren was colluding with the Russian Colluding Establishment RCE, and her acceptance of RCE’s assistance indicated that Russia itself (aka “VAL”) could have again colluded to secure her election.

Loyal Democrat though she may be, this collusion allegation against Warren was so serious that Clinton had to initiate an investigation into Warren’s collusion with Russia. “I’m doing it for the little people,” she stated. “I gave Liz that 800-ROO-SKIE number one late night at the bottom of four bottles of Chardonnay and a little face time. I told her to call the Rooskies if she needed a few extra electorals. I didn’t think she’d actually do it. Then again I didn’t think I’d have to replace my rug either.”

This time the Clinton collusion investigation was headed up the Notorious RBG from her retirement condo at the Ted Kennedy Memorial Organ Farm and Health SPA. In short order, RBG’s Report confirmed that Warren had colluded with the Russians. Warren was then led to resign by the Head of her Secret Service detachment who confronted her with the RBG Report and said, “Plata o plomo.”

Exit Warren Oval Office Right.

Enter Clinton Oval Office Left with Notorious RBG and a Bible:

“Home at last, girlfriend. Home at last.”

{ 17 comments… add one }
  • I Am Who I Am September 9, 2019, 5:18 PM

    Isn’t that sweet – Fauxahontas brought along her teepee.

  • Vanderleun September 9, 2019, 5:21 PM

    And it’s I Am Who for an early one-liner win!

  • Stretch September 9, 2019, 5:49 PM

    Killary wouldn’t wait for an “investigation.”
    Warren will suffer a fatal stroke (.22 caliber) before she finishes saying “So help me God.”

  • ghostsniper September 10, 2019, 3:45 AM

    Southern Argentina is looking better all the time.
    I always wanted to be a gaucho.
    Where my boleadoras iz?

  • Ann K. September 10, 2019, 5:14 AM

    Seems more likely to me that they’ll slip in Michelle Obama or Oprah at the last minute.

  • NealinNevada September 10, 2019, 5:43 AM

    I can only hope… Those two socialist losers would get curb-stomped by the Trumpster.

  • Casey Klahn September 10, 2019, 6:11 AM

    Heil Hillary!

  • BillH September 10, 2019, 7:55 AM

    First daytime nightmare I’ve had in years.

  • Sam L. September 10, 2019, 10:43 AM

    I’M FOR THIIS 100000000000%!!!!!
    It guarantees Trump will win!!

  • Montefrío September 10, 2019, 11:13 AM

    @Ghost

    Central Argentina is much nicer and has a balmy climate. We are likely to have our own HRC back (Cristina), but riding out the storm will be easier here.

  • Jack September 10, 2019, 12:07 PM

    The American progressive feminists versions of asshole buddies Adolph and Reinhard Heydrich.

  • Snakepit Kansas September 10, 2019, 6:33 PM

    The opportunity for Hillary to lose twice? I would throw a keg party in my front yard. I doubt if ‘Ol Cankles is up for it. She didn’t get any younger in the past four years.

  • TrangBang68 September 11, 2019, 2:47 PM

    Heil Hildebeast
    Turning and turning in the widening gyre
    The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
    Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
    The best lack all conviction, while the worst
    Are full of passionate intensity.

    Surely some revelation is at hand;
    Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
    The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
    When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
    Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
    A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
    A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
    Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
    Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
    The darkness drops again; but now I know
    That twenty centuries of stony sleep
    Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
    And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
    Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
    WB Yeats “The Second Coming”

  • Vanderleun September 11, 2019, 3:40 PM

    Kudos for working the rough beast of Hillary into the thread!

  • Bill Mullins September 12, 2019, 11:31 AM

    I do not see this happening if for no other reason than that I find it difficult to believe that Warren cannot spell “arkancide”. Unlike Stretch I think that Warren would at least have time to get settled into the WH before suiciding. In any case I figure Hildamort would be president in time to deliver the SOTU address. With a majority in both houses, she would be able to replace Notorious RBG and Breyer. Roberts having stepped down for “sudden and possibly acute” health reasons, Hildabeast would now have a 5 judge majority but not being satisfied with such a slim margin of control, at Hildabeast’s behest congress would increase the number of SCOTUS justices from 9 to 11; producing an unassailable margin of victory for any leftist program President von Pantsuit chose to enact.

  • WDS September 13, 2019, 10:03 AM

    Thankfully when Cankles and America’s screeching mother in law lose, and they WILL lose, the excuse-apalooza that will ensue will be both hysterically funny and disgusting at the same time.

  • CC September 17, 2019, 9:19 AM

    Sounds like a “Carnak The Magnificent set up, where the answer is “a Hag and a Nag.”

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