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That’s “Not a Flamethrower.” THIS Is a Flamethrower.

In which it is clearly demonstrated that Elon Musk’s Not A Flamethrower “May not be used on Boring Company decorative lacquered hay bales or Boring Company dockside munitions warehouses” suffers from ignitus interruptus.

Alert the Authorities!

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Casey Klahn September 17, 2018, 1:26 PM

    I’m snorting my chili, here. This puts pay to the age old axiom: “do not bring not a flamethrower…to a flamethrower fight.”

    Do all of Elon Muck’s things suck that badly? Just wondering.

    In related news, I will be painting the glam side on an M-4 Sherman tank in the next couple of months. Should I make it flame retardant?

  • ghostsniper September 17, 2018, 2:04 PM

    “Should I make it flame retardant?”

    No. Make it active. When they hit you, you hit back 10X as hard.

    And paint a big white X on all sides so they’ll see you coming, and take the mufflers off so they’ll hear you coming. You want them to know you’re out there and you’re looking for them. The idea behind the notion that the 101st (at the time) was the only unit to wear colored insignia to battle. They didn’t hide behind subdued unit insignia, they want the enemy to see them coming.

    Regarding Musk’s cars. I looked at the Tesla site awhile back and the vehicle performance specs are fantastic. That is, if they are real, which I am doubting. How can an electric car go from 0-60 in 2.9 seconds, and do it for 600 miles before needing a recharge? I haven’t driven even half of 600 miles in one fell swoop in more than 10 years but I do need to get up and go on occasion if you know what I mean, but I have a real problem with the prices, and I like to haul some plywood now and then. He still has a ways to go before he gets my full and undivided attention.

  • Ok I will September 17, 2018, 4:43 PM

    When Puller was first presented with a flamethrower, he asked “where do you mount the bayonet?”

  • azlibertarian September 17, 2018, 4:47 PM

    @ghostsniper….

    I’ve got a now-retired work acquaintance who had a Tesla and practically insisted that everyone drive the thing. That thing is a rocket-ship. I can’t speak to comparisons of specifications, but I did spend my early flying career flying T-38s, and that Tesla can accelerate like that afterburning Talon. Zero-to-60 is very quick. The 600 mile range thingi is something that you could only get after spending quite a while (overnight? I forget.) at a charging station.

    That said, I think Tesla and Musk are over-rated. I dunno much about whatever corporate welfare that Musk may be receiving, but my acquaintance was living off of “free” (to him, at least) charging stations. Of course “free” Green Energy only means that the California taxpayers were paying for the electricity and electricity infrastructure that powered his car.

  • Casey Klahn September 17, 2018, 6:02 PM

    I rode in a couple of hybrid cars, and 1 full electric Tesla car in SoCal in the early summer. The acceleration is weirdly good; one driver was afraid to back hers up in the parking lot. The electric car owner claims it has a tablet style read out that tells you where your next plug in is, and you’d use that to go cross country if you had an expeditionary idea in mind. Fuuuuuk. Trust that? Not moi. I pissed her off when I asked her if she ran out could she walk a little red can up the road and bring back a can of electricity for the tank?

    It was a very sweet ride; very beautifully appointed and sleek.

    On the M4 Sherman: I meant to say I get to design a cartoon for the side, like many planes and tanks sported in WW II. I’ll probably draw a bikini gal, but authentic vintage style. How cool is that?

    No, it won’t survive battle, but the tank may last a mission or two if pressed into service.

    I do want one of those real flame throwers, but more than that I want a 4 deuce mortar and a pallet of HE and smoke ammo.

  • Snakepit Kansas September 17, 2018, 6:48 PM

    I would like a tracked howitzer with a 105mm gun. HE and white phosphorous would be great with a dozen flechette rounds. I’d take the 2nd place flame thrower and mount it to my truck. Let the riots begin!

  • ambiguousfrog September 17, 2018, 8:57 PM

    If that’s your only vehicle to get you out of town, I don’t know say for the incoming cat4 hurricane, it’s gonna suck being stuck in traffic. Every time I stop at the same Tifton Ga. Starbucks off 75 South to take a leak, I could swear those charging stations are being juiced by the diesel generators behind the wooden fence.

  • ghostsniper September 18, 2018, 3:51 AM

    New Woodpile!
    http://www.woodpilereport.com/

    “But first, an old ad from before cars became climate controlled mobile entertainment centers.”

    @Casey, I likes me some nose art!
    Scantily clad, please.
    Make sure to post a link, here, and where we can see it.

  • Doug September 18, 2018, 5:17 AM

    But Musk’s flamethrower comes with a big fat doobie. How many government subsidized “innovative” products can make the same claim?

  • Casey Klahn September 18, 2018, 6:26 AM

    Many prize winning comments herein, if I were asked.

    This thread makes me recall how, under cover of libdark thought, Mr Obama tried to turn our armed forces into an electric-run show. Electric shit on carriers, electric trucks and motherfugging electric tanks. Obama forgot to study Napoleon.

    In a dark warlike mood. Must be Tuesday.

  • ghostsniper September 18, 2018, 7:29 AM

    Maybe she can charge it with her iphone.
    Back when, when Tesla’s were still just a smoke filled dream, Musk approached Jobs about a joint venture where they would develope electrical packets that could be attached to text files that would send and receive automatically dependent upon the reading of the “fuel” gauge in the car so that in theory it could be driven from here to Mars as long as it could receive a signal. -wink-

  • Terry September 18, 2018, 8:14 AM

    On electric car acceleration- Take a look at the torque curves of electric motors. Especially look at the area from zero RPM and upward. Then for clarity, compare those curves with internal combustion engines, spark or compression ignition.

  • Missy September 18, 2018, 10:28 AM

    Casey, the 4.2 mortar is known here as our “family mortar.” My pater was in chem warfare in the Fifth Army in Italy, and he produced whole lot of smoke, chaos and confusion for the enemy with this apparatus. Brother and I used to visit the 4.2 on display at Aberdeen Proving Ground pre 9-11 to pay our respects. We had mortar bedtime stories upon request as long as we did not tell mommy about them. There are mortar people, and then there are non-mortar people.

  • Casey Klahn September 18, 2018, 7:39 PM

    Missy, your kin was a great man. Any purveyor of high angle hell (death from above) is my kind of human. Mortars are best when integrated seamlessly with the rifle platoons, and particularly well suited to the Apennines Mountain environment.

    Mortar gunnery gets in your blood.