Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
Since the inception of this page some seventeen years and 30,000 items ago, I have never aggressively pursued donations. Because this page was started in Manhatten within a week of 9/11 as a memorial it never seemed quite right to me even after it diverged far from those dark beginnings. As a result, I have never really pursued the path of, as they say, monetizing the page.
I’d like to say that was because I was noble but in the last few days I have learned, yet again, that pretty little lies are no way to go through life and to see oneself.
The truth is that I have never been either very smart about or interested in “monetizing” anything.
Some people are brilliant at business and it has been my privilege to know some of these people personally. Because I am such a dollar dullard, I have sometimes gone for many many months without even glancing at my Paypal account since there was, in truth, never all that much in it.
Indeed I have been always been a dollar dullard when it comes to money, even in these years when my income has become “fixed” enough for me to feel a bit of a cold wind on my shoulders.
With that rambling confession out of the way, I declare now that the donations that have been given to me over the last few days have made the difference between the dark thoughts of a mind of winter that overwhelmed me as I fled the fire this time and enough of a boost to make the possibility of rebooting my life seem real and tangible and possible.
So many people have been so generous to me that, in truth, it has caused me to weep with a relief and a gratitude that bursts my heart. It will be many weeks before I can possibly thank them all personally, but I will.
In the meantime let this note stand to tell you all, and you all know who you are, that you have recalled me to life.
God bless you all, each and every one.
Gerard Van der Leun
November 13, 2018