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Names Gone Wild! -or- I know, let’s call her “Japonica”!

Then again there is this classic suggested by Bunny:

Today we have naming of parts. Japonica
Glistens likecoral in all the neighboring gardens,
And today we have naming of parts.

This is the lower sling swivel. And this
Is the upper sling swivel, whose use you will see,
When you are given your slings. And this is the piling swivel,
Which in your case you have not got. The branches
Hold in the gardens their silent, eloquent gestures,
Which in our case we have not got.

This is the safety-catch, which is always released
With an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let me
See anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easy
If you have any strength in your thumb. The blossoms
Are fragile and motionless, never letting anyone see
Any of them using their finger.

And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.

They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have the naming of parts.

The Naming Of Parts by Henry Reed – Poem Hunter

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  • Mhf November 4, 2017, 12:33 PM

    Nurse to young mother “I need you to make a decision on your child’s name”
    Young mother”I like the name you have given her”
    Nurse”what name?” Looking at chart “No name”
    Mother “Noname” Nonaamee
    True story from the MS delta

  • Bunny November 4, 2017, 1:05 PM
  • Jack November 5, 2017, 8:50 AM

    KJV: A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.

    That verse is true in many ways, including the name you give a child. Everyone wants to included in some part of the whole and these made up African sounding labels are a sound guarantee to prohibit that, right out of the chute.

  • Hangtown Bob November 5, 2017, 11:07 AM

    I always liked the name “Le-a”, pronounced “Ledasha…….
    Real story from internet several years ago

  • Rob De Witt November 5, 2017, 4:43 PM

    This stuff will always bring back memories…..

    In Chicago in the dim past, I had a girlfriend from Dothan, Alabama, the only blonde blue-eyed model I’ve ever been attracted to. And funny.

    One evening she took me out to Benihana of Tokyo on a check she’d received that day from Playboy, and on the way home, directly after we’d shared a joint, a car slowly crossed our path at a red light – a gleaming ’52 Pontiac with every imaginable chrome accessory, outside mirrors, hubcaps, mudflaps, tailpipes, spotlights, you name it – including a pair of Electrolux vacuum cleaners tricked out to look like rocket ships, aiming towards the moon and mounted on the back fenders.

    Piloting this vision, behind the requisite pair of fuzzy dice dangling from the rearview, was a black guy sporting a white-man-hater under his lip and wearing a little stingy-brim porkpie hat. As we both gaped like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match, Connie turned to me and beamed “Don’tcha just luuuv spades?”

  • Suburbanbanshee November 8, 2017, 9:19 PM

    Mormon kids traditionally have some funny names. Lots of the same “creativity” going on.

    But yeah, it’s probably a lot easier to be stereotyped as a hardworking Mormon. Also, they do less of the funny naming if they live outside Utah (or other Mormon communities.)