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Keeping Track: 100 Racist Things

From One Hundred Racist Things – waka waka waka 

Tucker Carlson has offered his Twitter followers one of the best “tweetstorms” the world has ever seen: #100RacistThings. You can see the thread here, but it’s so good I’m going to preserve it for posterity in this post — because this is the sort of thing that gets people banned from Twitter these days.

1. Tamarisk trees in Palm Springs, California.
2. The ice cream truck song.
3. Credit scores.
4. Car insurance.
5. Crime statistics.
6. Halloween costumes.
7. Calling Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas.”
8. Most of the better Disney movies.
9. Dr. Seuss.
10. White flight.
11. Reversing white flight.
12. White chefs who make burritos.
13. Milk.
14. Tanning.
15. NFL owners.
16. Being mad about NFL national anthem protests.
17. Mathematics. (See also here.)
18. Science.
19. Yale requiring English students to study Chaucer and Shakespeare.
20. All white people.
21. Proper English grammar.
22. Patriotism.
23. The iPhone X’s facial recognition technology.
24. Makeup.
25. Emoji.

26. Amy Schumer.
27. To Kill a Mockingbird.
28. The SAT.
29. Military camouflage.
30. Electronic music.
31. The August solar eclipse.
32. Bitcoin.
33. The “okay” sign.
34. Having a white person box against a black person.
35. The pornographic industry.
36. Apu from The Simpsons.
37. The white nuclear family.
38. Algorithms.
39. Artificial intelligence.
40. “Jingle Bells.”
41. Lucky Charms.
42. Deporting people.
43. Bernie Sanders supporters.
44. Pumpkin spice lattes.
45. White people celebrating Cinco de Mayo.
46. Lacrosse.
47. The Betsy Ross flag.
48. The Gadsden flag.
49. Expecting people to show up on time for things.
50. Cartoons of frogs.
51. Nostalgia.
52. Soda taxes.
53. Coca-Cola (but not Pepsi).
54. Wendy’s.
55. Aesthetics.
56. Star Wars.
57. Hollywood.
58. The Oscars.
59. Democrats.
60. Republicans.
61. The Nightmare Before Christmas director Tim Burton.
62. Walmart.
63. The Hindi loanword “thug.
64. Babies.
65. Bulletproof glass.
66. Referring to “canoes” and “paddles.
67. College football.
68. The NBA draft.
69. Referring to ethnic food as “ethnic food.”
70. The White Privilege Conference.
71. Abbreviating the word “guacamole”.
72. Property taxes.
73. Tax cuts.
74. New Jersey. The whole state.
75. School grades.
76. Canada.
77. American Airlines.
78. Not renting your home to criminals.
79. Criminal background checks.
80. Art history.
81. Atheism.
82. School discipline.
83. Saying you are English.
84. English-only education.
85. Othello.
86. Capitalism.
87. Socialism.
88. Karl Marx.
89. Highways.
90. Diabetes.
91. Climate change.
92. Accurately describing criminal suspects.
93. Pollution.
Not wanting white people to leave a college campus.
95. The Bible.
94.96. McDonalds.
97. Craft beer.
98. The British monarchy (but NOT the royal family).
99. The Washington Redskins.
100. Everything.


Alert the Authorities!

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Casey Klahn December 27, 2017, 12:55 PM

    *Racism* has completely lost its meaning, hasn’t it? How interesting to watch the train wreck. What used to be a term with a definition, has now become an epithet without ground.

    The question is: do the libs know this has happened to their catcall phrase? If so, are they actually trying for some kind of all-purpose argument that is actually an end-run around logic and substance? Only the imbeciles who cannot think through an argument buy the moniker, and in that case they don’t count as executives. The believers in *race* are behind by a furlong , but the name-throwers still persist in believing they have a weapon with that word.

    Doesn’t get the slightest rise out of me, though. No response is probably the best, but if pushed far enough, maybe: “stop telling me how to think!” might be a good retort.

  • azlibertarian December 27, 2017, 1:14 PM

    I’ve found that being called a racist is actually liberating. When they call me a “racist” for basically anything (as Carlson demonstrates), I feel no need to engage in civil debate. After they’ve flung the worst epithet they can think of at me, I can respond equally.

  • Howard Nelson December 27, 2017, 3:20 PM

    Another suitable reply could be, “You only say that because you have no facts or evidence to make a reasoned case. You are thus reduced to making a maligning, boorish insult that insults your own intelligence and humanity. When, from whom, did you learn to accept this utter mindless stupidity?
    If you still had a conscience, would you be ashamed of yourself? Do you know what it takes to have an honest, truthful conscience? Are your parents pleased with your behavior?”

  • Joan of Argghh! December 27, 2017, 4:51 PM

    If everything is _____, then nothing is.

  • Monty James December 27, 2017, 5:01 PM

    If we throw out the diabetes, that’s a whole lot of my favorite stuff on that list. All of it racist. What kind of chance does that give me?

    Nah, just kidding. All that list did was make my giveashitometer crash. Doesn’t register anything.

  • Mumblix Grumph December 27, 2017, 10:20 PM

    Well, I had never heard that The Ice Cream Song was really “N love a watermelon, HA HA HA!” But now I will subconsciously think that every time I hear it now. I’m not sure that was what the author of that story had in mind.

  • Howard Nelson December 27, 2017, 10:35 PM

    Cheer up, brethren and Sistern —
    Imagine what’s upcoming in 2018! Tell Gerard and all us other old farts to hang in there for the revelry to come.

  • Howard Nelson December 27, 2017, 11:03 PM

    @Casey. Thank you for allowing a visit to your studio. From the looks of your most recent sketch referred to I can see what keeps you young. When you grow up you’ll be an older young man ( I didn’t want to say a dirty old man; thought you might not take it as an intended compliment).

  • Kauf Buch December 28, 2017, 3:46 AM

    The following is written TONGUE-IN-CHEEK
    (but the truth hurts, anyway you put it…feelfree to substitute “racist” for “white supremacist”)

    Partly because “they say so.”
    I’m a white supremacist.
    Partly because they say writing and speaking properly is white privilege.
    I’m a white supremacist.
    Partly because they say acting in a civilized manner is “acting white” and thereby racist.
    I’m a white supremacist.
    Partly because they point to advanced civilization (not limited to mathematics, fine arts, etc…but you get the idea) as “white supremacism.”
    I’m a white supremacist.
    Partly because they say intelligence is “white oppression” and “systematic racism.”
    So, I’m a white supremacist, simply because they acknowledge my mind, behavior and culture are better than they and theirs are…and, who am I to argue?!?

    “They say“ I’M A WHITE SUPREMACIST, partly because “they say so.”
    “They say“ I’m a white supremacist, partly because they say writing and speaking properly is white privilege.
    “They say“ I’m a white supremacist, partly because they say acting in a civilized manner is “acting white” and thereby racist.
    “They say“ I’m a white supremacist, partly because they point to advanced civilization (not limited to mathematics, fine arts, etc…but you get the idea) as “white supremacism.”
    “They say“ I’m a white supremacist, partly because they say intelligence is “white oppression” and “systematic racism.”
    So, I’m a white supremacist, simply because they acknowledge my mind, behavior and culture are better than they and theirs are…and, who am I to argue?!?

  • ghostsniper December 28, 2017, 4:06 AM

    Casey and Joan are right but only if you believe the american communists have changed the definition of the word “racist”.

    As far as I’m concerned they do not have that ability so therefore the word “racist” still means the same as it always has and the mis-use of it by the american communists is irrelevant.

    If some how an american communist got the opportunity to label me as a “racist” on his terms it would be treated as any other grotesque verbal assault and the argument would instantly be elevated into the sphere of extreme over-violence and they don’t want to go there. IOW, if I am minding my business and you assault me in any way there will be terrible consequences remedied instantly.

    Lastly, when I encounter an example of fake racism my eyes become indifferent and just move on, kind of like what I do when the neglected 2 year old throws a tantrum in the grocery store.

  • not my socks December 28, 2017, 5:40 AM

    The Ozero era introduced a new word, or at least new to me. “Hater” This is useful when a reasoned response is either too much trouble, or when the responder can’t form a cogent thought.

  • Snakepit Kansas December 28, 2017, 6:31 AM

    I clicked on several of the 100 to find the reasoning as to why such item could be found racist. I found no such logic but many weak arguments based on feelings instead of facts. How difficult it would be to live with a sense that anything and everything has been plotted against you.

    I think about the most successful blacks at the company I work at and see they are the ones that immigrated here. They have progressed based on dedication and merit. Cream rises to the top. OH! Maybe that last comment was racist!

  • Anonymous White Male December 28, 2017, 7:40 AM

    For those of you that mentioned the original “meaning” of the word racist, you might want to research when the term was created out of thin air in the 20th century and why. What do you think racist means? Recognizing that race exists? Recognizing that there are physical differences between the races (and, therefore, genetic differences)? Recognizing that different races have different levels of accomplishments (as groups)? Recognizing that different races have different potentials (as groups)? Understanding that as there are measurable physical differences (e.g., muscle and fat content, bone density, hair differences, differences in length of limbs, etc.), there are also spiritual and cognitive differences between races? If those are your definitions for racism, so what? I think well-meaning people somehow fall for the we all bleed red crap. Dogs bleed red as well. Somehow a secular concept has infiltrated the thinking of everyone. That concept is that regardless of external differences, the entities that inhabit the different shells are all the same once they cease to exist in the shell. Since we have no idea what we take with us when we die (what is the soul, by the way?), why would anyone give any credence to such a belief?

  • Kevin Dickson December 28, 2017, 7:51 AM

    When African Americans finally strip our culture of everything they do not like….or cannot understand…we will all be living in mud huts and be cooking our food with goat dung.

  • Old Anonymous December 28, 2017, 9:37 AM

    How about, “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.”

  • Ray December 28, 2017, 10:36 AM

    Well, if you really want to know who invented racism, go here.

  • Casey Klahn December 28, 2017, 10:59 AM

    Hi, Howard. Thanks for looking at my stuff. I always knew that someday, when I grew up, I’d get to draw the nude from life like a *real* artist.

    BTW, one of the prettiest models I’ve seen was a young black woman.

    On Topic. Although I never mention this, because it only plays into the lib racial program to say, “I got friends who are black!!!” – I will note that when I last took training at Ft Benning, GA, I had a small cohort of friends. That’s not unusual; you make friends when you’re away from home. When I did get home, I had a sudden realization that every last one of my buddies was black. I didn’t even realize it at the time!

  • sTevo December 28, 2017, 4:40 PM

    Resumes and job interviews are racist.

  • ghostsniper December 28, 2017, 5:34 PM

    Those who scream racist the most are the most racist.
    Yeah, you can quote me on that.

    A variation of the criminal going back to the scene of the crime, a mental imbalance.
    Can’t be helped, but can be chained in the town square for a fortnight and pummeled with rotten vegetation and rotted lumber and such.

  • bob December 28, 2017, 7:36 PM

    real racism: being allowed in college just because you can play ball even though you’re not academically qualified.

  • Callmelennie December 29, 2017, 10:47 AM

    Racist thing #101

    Making a major Hollywood picture in which EVERY male black character is either a) a child molester and daughter incester b) a double timing wife-beater or c) an ineffectual cuckold of an imbecile. Sheesh, if all these other things are racist, that’s gotta be SUPER RACIST!! I mean, that’s about as racist as it gets. I’ll bet my bottom dollar that whoever directed that piece of racist trash never worked another day in that town

    No, hold on a minute, I must be wrong. That particular movie, called “The Color Purple” was nominated for 11 Academy Awards. And its director, Steven Speilberg, was PRAISED for his “new found maturity.” Indeed many people in Hollywood were OUTRAGED because Speilberg didn’t win the Oscar for Best Director.

    It don’t add up!!