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“I Ate A Burger Off The Ground” By Lydia Thomas

I’m not even going to touch…       check that... I’m not even going to start to talk about the Full-Monty of subtextual and cultural things that are splashing about in the warm ideological soup of this item.

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  • Kevin Dickson July 20, 2018, 6:04 AM

    Please….no more affirmative action performance art.

  • Jaynie July 20, 2018, 6:05 AM

    What the heck?

    Cute gal. Aimed at a niche audience? Is she not being a comedienne?

  • Lance de Boyle July 20, 2018, 6:50 AM

    She’s got that know-it-all insider smirk down pat.

  • Mike Anderson July 20, 2018, 6:53 AM

    OK, if that’s not a metaphor, I’m a grounded burger. And, to her credit, she didn’t pick it up off a toilet seat.

  • John the River July 20, 2018, 7:01 AM

    Don’t want to complain but I had to go into Adblocker Plus and select that video for special filtering to stop it from playing automatically every time I opened the page or went back and forth into comments. After the fourth time of that smarmy voice I cracked.

  • Bill in Tennessee July 20, 2018, 7:42 AM

    Ummm… so is it performance art? …really bad free verse poetry? …some weird affirmation by another lost “yout”? I give up but this was quite enough for this year.

  • Casey Klahn July 20, 2018, 7:51 AM

    I once ate a donut off the ground. But, that was in the desert.

    I won’t write a poem of it; not talented that way.

  • jwm July 20, 2018, 8:27 AM

    This poem raised my consciousness, and caused me to check my privilege.
    That’s what fine art is all about.

    JWM

  • Terry July 20, 2018, 8:29 AM

    The girl most likely received a degree from an American university. Nothing there folks.

  • Jack July 20, 2018, 8:45 AM

    Now “that” folks, is edumucation. I bet that bich won’t be eaten’ no mo sammichs she find on the groundt. That shi’ta kil’ya.

  • Monty James July 20, 2018, 9:14 AM

    She majored in getting-over-on-whiteyology. This confidently performed drivel reminds us of recent reporting from the U.K.:

    Kipling’s “If–” Obliterated for Being Oppressive

  • this side toward enemy July 20, 2018, 9:36 AM

    Nope, not gonna click play on that. I’m just not.

  • Sam L. July 20, 2018, 10:38 AM

    I turned the sound down, wondering where it was coming from. Found it, and ain’t goin’ back .

  • ghostsniper July 20, 2018, 12:00 PM

    Didn’t click the video, the pik was enough.
    Doubtful that colored gurl has anything I need to hear.

    BTW, didja know the army has a regulation on the allowable distance between cornrows?
    I guess that whole “ID card” thing is passe now, eh?
    Back in my day the colored doods used to slather their noggin with thick grease and then yank a tight wimminz hose down over it to compress it tight to the skall. Keep it on there all day, then at quitting time the hose came off, the grease got showered out, then the industrial grade hair dryer and garden rake did it’s thing and the next thing ya know the boy was sportin a 8″ fro, just like he was back on the stroll. Come back from town late, broke, and slather that grease on it all over again, every. dam. day.

  • Old Fert July 20, 2018, 1:35 PM

    I knew a kid outside of Philly in South Jersey who’d eat a worm if you gave him a nickel.

  • madtntaxpayer July 20, 2018, 3:16 PM

    Maybe Maxine can nominate her for the 53rd “Poet Laureate of the United States” with an endorsement from Whoopie and Shelia Jackson Lee. At least she didn’t pick up a stray piece of pizza from Pappa Johns.

  • Eskyman July 20, 2018, 5:28 PM

    Well, I never picked up a burger off the ground and ate it, but my mother told me that back when I was three I liked to eat dirt. That was West Virginian dirt, which was apparently palatable to a 3 year old.

    My mother taught me not to eat dirt, and helped me to grow up.

    This poor woman still hasn’t grown up, that’s all. Or perhaps her mother never taught her not to eat stuff off the ground. Some mothers, unlike mine, aren’t very good at mothering.

    Still, it doesn’t look to me like she’s suffered much; she’s still carrying a lot of extra pounds. Maybe she should continue to eat stuff off the ground, the next bout of food poisoning might teach her something!

  • Steve in Greensboro July 20, 2018, 11:22 PM

    One minute and thirty nine seconds to discuss what every kid and mother knows is “the five second rule”?

  • Fred July 21, 2018, 8:40 AM

    I recently went to the symphony where during an interlude a negro female “Spoken Word” artist(?) recited something misusing and misidentifying the pronunciation and meaning of some of the words, not on purpose. And all the white people dutifully clapped and all I could think was; ‘well how wonderful, it can almost speak English’. But as I looked around the smirks and laughter were reassuring as one of the people that was with me leaned over and said something not quietly at all that would garner her a trip to the re-education camps. It was the theater of the absurd. The symphony was otherwise excellent.

  • Aggie July 22, 2018, 1:51 PM

    What’s the deal? How long is this infernal claptrap going to auto-start and hijack your website with this Kaffeeklatsch nonsense? Turn it off already! I want to hear the motorcycle.

  • RosalindJ July 23, 2018, 8:29 AM

    She didn’t make the cut for the Towson debate team, poor thing.

  • Joe July 23, 2018, 4:35 PM

    Every time I visit this site this article along with the ad takes over. Does anyone else have this problem?

  • TCNM July 23, 2018, 8:12 PM

    –> Joe, Yes. Same problem and I’ve got all protections enabled in Firefox. Perhaps Mr. Vanderleun can disable the video or remove it. Annoying is putting it politely.