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Everybody Knows: My Prophetic Secret Minutes of The Gay Mafia from 2002

Harmless Fun-Loving Calvin Klein Ad

[ Once upon a time, when American Digest was very, very young, I had occasion to notice that there were a few (minor and soon papered over) cracks in the Gay Power Wall of Hollywood and New York. Those who say they “just didn’t know what was going on in the realm of illegal and immoral sexual shenanigans” in Hollywood or New York are…. How can  put this politely? ….. are lying out of both sides of their pedophiliac / hebephiliac asses.

As WE ALL know, THEY ALL knew. Hollywood and New York have been the world capitols of boy buffets for a very very long time. Here’s a bit of what I wrote over a decade and a half ago. Time has not improved upon it.]

David Geffen and Boytoy with Friend

——————– { July 3, 2002 } ——————–
SECRET MINUTES OF THE “GAY MAFIA”

One-time and now has been crack agent Mike Ovitz has been getting press and heat from a comment he made to Vanity Fair about being a victim of the ‘Gay Mafia’ of Hollywood.

The names he named included some of the most powerful men in Tinseltown and included the openly gay David Geffen as well as Eisner of Disney, Bernie Weintraub, Ron Meyer, Kevin Huvane, agent Bryan Lourd and others.

Reaction against Ovitz was swift and terrible with threats of never eating even a Swieback in Hollywood again, as well as having valet parking privileges suspended for life. Ovitz caved within 24 hours and issued a formal apology to the press. On the eve of the Fourth, a grateful nation was thankful that not only was there liberty and justice for all in the land, but that there was indeed no ‘Gay Mafia’ running America’s most influential export to the world.

Until, of course, American Digest uncovered a transcript of Ovitz’s “apology meeting” with the movers and shakers of Dreamworks, Disney, and other essential players. In the interests of truth, justice and the American Way, we are publishing this transcript verbatim.

What you read in the press: LA Times Headline: July 3, 2002 Ovitz Issues an Apology for Comment About ‘Gay Mafia’

Onetime superagent Michael Ovitz apologized Tuesday for his comments in a Vanity Fair magazine article, due to hit the newsstands today, in which he blames his downfall on a group he calls Hollywood’s “gay mafia.”

“I made some statements that were inappropriate during an open and frank discussion….”

What really happened:

DISSOLVE TO: Back room at Spago in Beverly Hills. There are Drag Queens and Leather Queens seated and posing around a conference table with a centerpiece of Michaelanglo’s David carved out of chopped chicken liver. Don “Rickles” Geffendi sits at the head of the table.

MIKEY OVITZI
Don Geffendi, I want to thank you for helping me organize this — meeting here today. And also the other heads of the Gay Nostra – Mission Street, Sunset Boulevard, Christopher Street and South Beach. Carmina Burana from the West Village — and ah — Washington – Andiamo Sullivani. An’ from The New York Times, we have with us Bernini Weintraubo. And all the other associates that came as far as from Chelsea, and Alphabet City, and all the other cruising zones of the country — thank you.

How did the movie business ever get so gay? I don’t know. It was so — unfortunate — so unnecessary – so bitchy. Eisneri lost a trick — and I lost a trick. We’re quits. And if Eisneri agrees, then I’m willing to — let things go on the way they were before…

GEFFENDI
We’re all grateful to Don Ovitzi for calling this lunch and picking up the check. We all know him as a bitch of his word — a modest bitch — he’ll always listen to above the line profits…

EISNERI
Yes, Don Geffendi — he’s too modest. He had all the cute actors and hunky street hustlers in his pocket. He refused to share them…

MIKEY OVITZI
When — when did I ever refuse an accommodation? All of you know me here — when did I ever refuse to send a buff personal trainer with a jar of olive oil over to the office? — except one time. And why? Because — I believe this Ecstasy-driven chicken hawking business — is gonna destroy us in the years to come. I mean, it’s not like gambling or liquor — even the odd stealth lesbian kiss at a tennis tournament or golf classic — which is something that most people want nowadays, and is forbidden to them by the pezzonovante of the people who cancelled Rosie, Ellen and Politically Correct (Hey, Bill Maher in drag, whatta you think. Should I sign her?) . Even the Clinton Administration that’ve helped us in the past with not asking and not telling and other things are gonna refuse to help us when in comes to chicken hawking. And I believed that — then — and I believe that now.

GEFFENDI
Times have changed. It’s not like the Old Days — when we can do anything we want. A refusal is not the act of a friend. If Don Ovitzi had all the child stars, and the young assistant producers in the Valley, then he must share them, or let us others use them. He must let us draw the water from the well. Certainly he can — present a bill for such services; after all — we are not Members of the Screen Actors Guild.

LOURDINI (after some laughter from the group, stands)

I also don’t believe in chicken hawking, here or at my summer place in Malibu, I don’t care what you read in the papers. For years I paid my tricks extra so they wouldn’t do that kind of business. —

[Eisneri whispers something to his aide]

LOURDINI (continues)
— Somebody comes to them and says, “I have cute butts; if you put up three, four thousand dollar investment — we can make fifty thousand on the Beverly Hills Hotel business alone.” So they can’t resist a cute butt. I want to control it as a business, to keep it respectable, healthy and well-groomed.
(then, as he slams his hand on the table)
I don’t want it near Rodeo Drive — I don’t want to sell children! That’s an infamia. In my city, we would keep the traffic in the free-lance agents — the fifteen-percenters. They’re animals anyway, so let them lose their souls… and test positive.

MIKEY OVITZI
I hoped that we would come here and group hug together. And as a sensitive man I’m willing to do whatever’s necessary to — find a peaceful solution to these problems…

GEFFENDI
Then we are agreed. The traffic in chicken hawking and making sequels and knock-offs to “American Pie” will be permitted, but controlled — and Don Ovitzi will give up chicken hawking east of the Wilshire corridor in the East — and there will be free hot sex all around, and an Oscar for me with no time limit on my acceptance speech.

EISNERI
But I must have strict assurance from Ovitzi — as time goes by and his client list becomes cuter — will he attempt any remakes of “Cruising”?

GEFFENDI
Look — we are all reasonable men here; we don’t have to give assurances as if we were the kind of stone cold bitches that give millions of dollars to lawyers…

MIKEY OVITZI (holding up his hand to interrupt Geffendi)

You talk about vengeance — is vengeance gonna bring your trick back to you? Or my trick to me? I forgo the vengeance of my trick — But I have selfish desires. My youngest trick — was forced to leave this country, — because of this Hillary Clinton business. All right — and I have to make arrangements to bring him back here safely — cleared of all these false charges of having sex with that woman. But I’m a superstitious bitch — and if some unlucky popper should be snapped under his nose — if he should get bad Acid at a rave — or if he should find himself served with substandard mineral water at a restaurant — or if he’s struck by a case of the vapors — then I’m going to blame some of the bitches in this room. And that, I do not forgive.

But — that aside — let me say that I swear — on the piano of Liberace — that I will not be the one start charging for the free hot sex that we have made here today…

[The Don and his trim and youthful assistant move toward the head of the table where Geffendi is sitting. Eisneri does the same. The Don and Eisneri hug as the others applaud]

CUT TO: The Ovitizi’s black Hummer driving -night

CUT TO: Inside the Hummer where the Don and youthful assistant are sitting in the rear -night

YOUTHFUL ASSISTANT

When I meet with the Eisneri people, should I insist that all his bitches have negative results on the latest bloodwork and their own latex body stockings?

MIKEY OVITZI

Mention it — don’t insist. Geffendi is a man who’ll know that without being told.

YOUTHFUL ASSISTANT

You mean Eisneri…

MIKEY OVITZI

Eisneri’s a pimp — he never’a could’ve outfucked Santino. But I didn’t know until this day that it was — Geffendi all along…

The New America – Dispatches

Alert the Authorities!

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Gordon October 31, 2017, 6:25 PM

    Oh, man.

  • Alex Dumas October 31, 2017, 8:20 PM

    Here’s a link to the Vanity Fair article: https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2002/08/ovitz200208

  • Nori October 31, 2017, 9:38 PM

    Jeez, these people make you want to take a shower just reading about them.
    The CK ads were bad enough, but the Geffen-Obama beatific smiles are just creep-inducing.

  • ghostsniper November 1, 2017, 4:16 AM

    There seems to be a whole universe out there that I know almost nothing about, and plan to keep it that way, sorta. The very idea of males tampering with each other’s septic systems and attributing it to *love* is probably the most ludicrous thing there is. If this is not an indication of brain damage then brain damage is not possible.

  • Casey Klahn November 1, 2017, 8:07 AM

    Relax. They’re liberals, and they’re gay. They get a pass on pedophilia because: culture!

    A moth ago, if you tried to link pedophilia with homosexuality, you’d be phobic, wouldn’t you?

    Does “everybody knew,” in Hollywood, also mean “everybody knows” gays dig kids?

    Perhaps the mores of the past, when polite society used social pressure to squeeze out abnormality, was a good thing. Hmmm? A truly liberal culture is not possible without a credible, religious system of morals.

  • ghostsniper November 1, 2017, 10:22 AM

    “….system of morals….”
    ================

    Well, if people aren’t taught morality at a young age then later a stern justice system that holds people accountable for their behavior will have to suffice. As it is now, there is little of either.

    And religion has never been the key to morality as shown over and over by the many infractions by religious folks. Over the millennia proper parenting has been the route for all things good. Destroy the family core and all things fail.

  • Casey Klahn November 1, 2017, 12:08 PM

    500 years ago, on this day, Catholics were reading the 95 Theses that Luther nailed to the Wittenberg door. Everything changed; it was the singular millennial event that cascaded down to today’s laws, culture, and thoughts. Without Luther’s great act, everything would be so far different today that I suppose Hitler and Stalin would seem pikers in comparison. We got: freedom. Individuality. The future. Conscience.

    Too religious for you, Ghostie? History is a rude bitch, but she must be accounted for. There was a time in Europe that soldiery and clergy grabbed you for any suspicion of debt and piked you in the village square.

  • Denny November 1, 2017, 12:40 PM

    Thanks Casey,
    If only a few more Americans were aware of world history, we would not now be heading for the dark ages once again.

  • ghostsniper November 1, 2017, 2:46 PM

    Morality predates religion by eons otherwise none of us would be here.
    As far as that europe thing, now, in the US, you can be grabbed for no reason at all and killed.
    While history can be an interesting novelty, current events are a little more pressing.
    Avoid crowds.

  • Casey Klahn November 1, 2017, 2:56 PM

    On the contrary, Ghostsniper, the Code of Hammurabi was a far, far different law than the theistic codices. For one thing, the hammer in Hammurabi’s day was pretty much Hammurabi himself. Do as I say, and receive justice. Why? Just do as I fucking say, and shut up @ it.

    You cannot place Luther in the same room as Hammurabi, et al. It isn’t clever at all, and is dare I say ignorance of the brashest kind.

  • Denny November 1, 2017, 4:14 PM

    ghost,
    If you believe the Reformation was just an “interesting historical novelty”, then you probably need a lot of help changing your light bulbs.

  • Rob De Witt November 1, 2017, 7:03 PM

    Casey (and for that matter ghost,)

    I’m hip to Martin Luther, but if it hadn’t been for Saint Peter (the first Pope) and the Renaissance universities established by the Roman Catholic Church, Luther wouldn’t have been able to read or write; or put another way, the Protestants wouldn’t have had anything to protest about, or the means with which to express themselves. Whatever objections you may have to the Church, it’s simply the case that Western civilization would never have been formed without it.

    Hammurabi, on the other hand, was hardly overwhelmed by Martin Luther, but rather by the Romans, who some might argue weren’t a particular improvement. The Romans’ oligarchy was eventually overtaken – via Aristotle, the Stoics, and Thomas Aquinas – by the Christians (i.e. the Roman Catholic Church) who, despite Martin Luther, the Methodists, the Baptists, the Presbyterians, the Episcopalians, and the Transcendentalists, are still in business and still the world’s primary bulwark against Communism and Islam.

    Just a thought……

  • Casey Klahn November 1, 2017, 11:10 PM

    Rob, your comments are interesting and good, but not on my points. Nothing was said about the Catholics other than that they were the foil of the 95 Theses. I’m no fan of the split, but it is what it is. The man of the millennium was, in my educated estimate, Martin Luther. The man of the first millennium, Christ accepted, was probably Paul, but Peter is on any short list, that’s for sure.

    Ghost brought up the first laws, which is how Hammurabi got compared to Luther. It’s a good analogy, but any number of other good arguments can be made about legal progress. You already break your argument vis Rome vs Babylon. A better line of thought is why the West developed representative government and the East didn’t so much.

  • ghostsniper November 2, 2017, 6:55 AM

    Denny’s getting angry.
    It’s just a forum post Denny, not the end of your life.

    If a violent muzzy with blood in his eyes kicks your door in are you gonna to grab your AR15 or your bible?

  • Casey Klahn November 2, 2017, 7:45 AM

    Ghost: praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition!

    It had to be said.

  • Denny November 2, 2017, 7:51 AM

    Right ghost,
    My Bible is for quiet times as I don’t get all of my inspiration like you do from “Atheists Today” magazine. Still that’s a rather strange question and logic from a hot head that threatens to shoot anyone who so much as touches one of your fence posts.

  • ghostsniper November 2, 2017, 9:26 AM

    Why are you so scared Denny? Why do you lie so much?
    I never claimed to be an atheist, and there’s no fence posts on our property.
    Everyone around here is pretty decent so there’s no need to threaten anyone.
    You lie so easily, it’s almost like you’re a politician, so maybe that why you’re so terrified.

  • Denny November 2, 2017, 11:31 AM

    Sorry I assumed, please change “fence post to “steps on your property” or would love to sic his dog on people that might come to your door (Jehovahs or Mormons). If you’re not an atheist please tell me why you love to bait Christians with “imaginary super hero”? I have never heard anyone but an atheist say something as outrageous as that. I’m not the one that’s terrified ghost, it’s you.

  • ghostsniper November 2, 2017, 8:00 PM

    You win Denny, I can’t compete against your rampant lying.
    From now on I’ll refer to you as *Champion*, K?

  • Denny November 3, 2017, 5:10 AM

    No, you win ghost, and you won’t have to call me *Champion*.

    I’ll quote Joan of Arrrgh who said some time ago, “ghost, you’re the reason I’m leaving American Digest.”

    You’re an anti-christian and racial bigot, a bully, a liar and a hypocrite.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQz5ERc33BM

  • ghostsniper November 3, 2017, 1:51 PM

    Conservatives like to say that they base their beliefs on facts, and liberals base theirs on feeling, which is mostly true, except for when it comes to religion which is the epitome of thinking with your feelings.

  • Vanderleun November 3, 2017, 2:51 PM

    St. Augustine alone proves you wrong. Plenty of others in the long, long, long Christian tradition.

  • Denny November 5, 2017, 8:59 AM

    Wrong U tube video in my last post.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzAe8R0wz-M