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American Digest Has a New Editor

Introducing Olivia aka “Olive” who, after an exhausting search and a searing series of interviews at the local Wags and Whiskers rescue station was hired for a cup of kibble, a splash of canned tuna juice, a slosh of water, a few tiny faux-tuna treats, and a signing bonus composed of a scratching post and an empty box. Now, after only three days on the job, the whinging meows have already begun.

According to my good friend Ray, these kinds of editors have been helping writers since (at least) the publication of The Book of Kells in the 6th Century.

Alert the Authorities!

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • JohnPeg October 28, 2018, 3:16 PM

    What a gorgeous cat! Time spent petting cats does not count against one’s total life span.

  • mezzrow October 28, 2018, 4:25 PM

    She’ll have you trained and operational in no time. Enjoy the break-in period.
    Yours, of course.

  • HH October 28, 2018, 4:28 PM

    The famous writer Paul Gallico kept cats, and he was quite prolific. He also seem to have a happy life; perhaps the cats were a help.

  • Roy Lofquist October 28, 2018, 4:39 PM

    We’re planning a trip to see Hemingway’s six toed cats on Key West come January.

  • PA Cat October 28, 2018, 4:40 PM

    Bienvenue à Madame la chatte-éditrice! It looks, however, as if Mme. Olive has begun to perceive that she is in the clutches of an insufficiently woke speciesist. Just for fun, here’s a humorous piece from The Federalist: “10 Reasons My Cat Deserves to Win the Intersectional Victim Olympics”:
    http://thefederalist.com/2018/05/16/10-reasons-cat-deserves-win-intersectional-victim-olympics/

    Enjoy Olive’s companionship as well as the humor– may you have many good years together.

  • Joan of Argghh! October 28, 2018, 4:42 PM

    Close kin to the printer’s devil!

  • jefferson101 October 28, 2018, 4:46 PM

    Keep in mind that you don’t own a cat. They own you.
    I’m a dog person, but my dear wife has three cats, and they all feel privileged to come annoy me whenever they decide that it’s time to do so. They each have their on designated time to descend upon me, but I can’t take a shower, go to bed, or sit in my recliner without being gifted with one or another of them reminding me who is in charge, and who I’m supposed to cater to.

    Me and my dog deal, as we must. How did RAH put it? “Women and Cats…..”
    That’s about the size of it, truth be told. Men and Dogs just shaddup and do what they are told to do, as often as not.

  • Jeff Brokaw October 28, 2018, 8:13 PM

    What a beautiful editor/cat! You’ll be glad you took the leap.

    Our cat turned 20 this year and has outlived one set of dogs and is working on another. He’s definitely feeling his age but he’s still hanging in there.

  • Island Girl October 28, 2018, 11:11 PM

    Simply lovely and gorgeous.

  • ghostsniper October 29, 2018, 4:38 AM

    Excellent!
    But she needs a sister. Or brother. (hint hint)
    Miss Olivia is one of the lucky ones.
    According to my sister, that runs two shelters in NC, this is not a good time of year for black cats and many shelters will not adopt black cats out until mid-Nov.

    The life expectancy for cats around our house is in the 18-19 year range.
    You’ll know she’s bonded with you when you can no longer walk around in your house without maneuvering around her, and/or her preferred place to lay is on your arms while sitting at your computer. Yay for Olive, and you!

    PS: Careful with those “snap” collars, they can pop loose at the worst time.

  • ghostsniper October 29, 2018, 7:08 AM

    How to train Olly to be your gurl 24/7 without her even knowing it.
    ==============================================
    Step 1:
    Every time you come into your house after having gone somewhere, state right out loud, but not yelling, “Where’s that gurl?”

    She may not come the first time.
    If she does come, promptly reach into your left pocket and give her a piece of Kibble.
    Make her stand up or sit up on her back legs to get it.
    That’s her reward for doing as you asked.

    If she does not come, immediately go hunt her down and upon finding her say out loud, “There’s that gurl!” And promptly give her a Kibble.

    All animals respond inherently to food. Yes, even a charging Grizzly will detour to a chunk of roadkill thrown off to the side while you’re unassing the AO.

    Olly will quickly learn that by listening to you she will get her favorite reward.
    Every time. Dilligence on your part will build confidence in her.
    She will start coming to you every time you enter the house.
    4 years later I still keep a half doz or so pieces of Iams dog food in my left britches pocket all the time. I give them to Shannon throughout the day for the various instances of her being a “good gurl”.

    One more thing.
    Animals respond favorably to higher pitched voices, less so with lower voices.
    When Olly does good tell her she’s a “good gurl” with a higher pitch to your voice, don’t squeal, she’ll freek out. If Olly does bad, correct her ONCE in your normal, lower voice, clean up whatever, and don’t mention it again. Til next time, then, only once.

    Animals supposedly have *no sense of time* and if you harp on an issue they become tone deaf instantly. Once, then move on. It’s better for both of you. Give her some credit, she’s smarter than you think and her senses are far better than yours. Her only goals in life are to please herself and her master. **I question that whole sense of time business cause Shannon can tell when 9:30pm is and come remind me cause that’s when she get’s her last snack of the night.

    So that Shannon can understand better, the Iams dog food in my pocket is called “cookies”, and the snack she gets in the afternoon and at night are in a container on the shelf in my office and are called “Bacons” though they are not. Consistency on my part creates consistency on her part.

    Guten lukken mit Frau Olly!

  • Richard October 29, 2018, 7:09 AM

    Congratulations! I suspect she’ll become a great companion. I’ve had my shelter-rescue gray tabby for about four and a half years. Missed reading a book without a cat sleeping in my lap on a cold winter’s night. After these same 4 1/2 years the jury is still out as to who rescued whom.

  • ghostsniper October 29, 2018, 7:14 AM

    I can’t stop.
    If she’s not already, consider getting Olive chipped.
    You never know, and it’s better to have than not.
    Get a DEEPLY engraved name tag for her collar with the chip number on the backside.
    (put your cell number on the tag too)
    Get a 2nd tag identical and keep it in your wallet.
    This is important: Take Olive to the vet and verify that the chip works.
    When you take her for her yearly checkup get the chip checked again.
    As we all know, tech stuff fails all the time and at the most inopportune time.

  • dlsada October 29, 2018, 7:23 AM

    Black cats are the best!

  • BillH October 29, 2018, 7:50 AM

    At least you got an American Shorthair, as our shelter calls them. I asked them once what that meant, and the lady said, “mutt”. Our first cat, after forty-some years of a wifey ordained pet-free household, was a really lush persianish, siameseish pure white longhair, temperamental as hell. What a mess. The current one is very short haired, and much easier to manage physically and mentally.

  • Larry Geiger October 29, 2018, 8:00 AM
  • Larry Geiger October 29, 2018, 8:14 AM
  • CC October 29, 2018, 8:53 AM

    Currently, I’m looking around at my tiger-striped, green eyed Tiger; Belle who is a yellow-eyed, tortie-tabby-tuxie maniac: Rik who is a soft fuzzy grey old gentleman that comes and lays on my chest for pets late at night, if he catches me awake; and Dante, a green-eyed, black cat who has a love of life that probably has to do with him nearly dying of Histoplasmosis last year.
    The last two are my son’s cats, who will go with him when he moves into his new house, but I think Grandma’s going to try to get him to leave his dog here – they’ve grown pretty attached.

    All rescues, all loved as family.
    Oh yeah, also two ferals that hang around, one of which had 3 kittens in my garage last March.
    2 more TNR’s to go…

  • Gordon Scott October 29, 2018, 9:09 AM

    I had picked up a smaller cat tree at a convenient donation point (someone’s alley). I had it in the bedroom near the window, where the cat could sit on it and look outside. It was old, and a bit rickety. When the cat leaped from the bed to the top platform, she had to do a bit of wobble as the platform wiggled from the impact.

    My wife said, “We should get a new one. One that doesn’t wiggle.”

    I replied, “For all she knows, it’s supposed to be that way. Besides, the balancing act is good for her and her brain.” And it was. Indoor life is good for cats’ longevity, but they need stimulation.

  • Dinah (from MO...now WA) October 29, 2018, 9:10 AM

    Congratulations to you both! I’ve had two black cats (in sequence) and both shared my life for nearly 20 years each. You will be a blessing to each other!

    I Like Black Cats Because….
    * They are discretely dressed for every occasion.
    * They bring good luck to their owners.
    * If wearing a white bow-tie, they make excellent butlers.
    * They are dramatic by day and invisible by night.
    * They make unwelcome visitors feel ill at ease by suddenly looking sinister.
    * The black leather on their paws and nose is always in good taste and very durable.
    * They enjoy Halloween parties.
    * Their pleasing sobriety of manner fits them for unobtrusive duties in undertaker parlors, ladies waiting rooms, public libraries and the better kind of family restaurant.
    * When they stretch their forepaws they appear to be wearing long black elbow-length evening gloves.
    * They are used to flying pillion when I fly across the sky at night.
    Sue Porter, ‘Birthday Book of Beasts’, Farrar Straus & Giroux, 1982

  • AmericusMagnus October 29, 2018, 12:25 PM
  • theduchessofkitty October 30, 2018, 8:56 AM

    Love feline sweethearts. Got my 17-year-old black kitty who loves her wet food and petting. Got her feline companions here with me. The one with the half-tail who loves sitting on laps. The tuxedo one who loves to watch me write and pretends to do “gravity” experiments like Galileo at the Tower of Pisa. The one who was the neighborhood tom, now king of the house – and loves beef jerky. The young one who has the fur color of ground ginger and loves the high cat tower. They’re all adorable. They keep me warm in the winter, too.

    She’ll love you for life.

    Oh!… If you want to see something beyond feline-cute, I recommend Grandpa Mason. He’s an old fella, former feral, terminally ill, but… Here. You will need a tissue.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZiJkicepzM

  • waltj October 30, 2018, 2:30 PM

    Agree with Ghost. Cats often do better when they live with other felines. And they’re more entertaining for you that way. One cat is companionship, two cats is comedy.

  • pbird October 31, 2018, 9:59 AM

    Ja, two cats. Hurtling fat balls. Nearly knock ya off yer feet when they get that running thing going in tandem.

  • DeAnn November 7, 2018, 6:11 AM

    @Ghost – I figured you had a soft spot.
    (Appreciate the tips.)

    Yes MeMe is Olive’s twin – and part of why I’m so fond of my big Pyr is because he is respectful of the cat’s place.