American Digest Condensed Books: What Happened by Her Highness HRC

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.
Brutus and Caesar: what should be in that ‘Caesar’?
Why should that name be sounded more than yours?
Write them together, yours is as fair a name;
Sound them, it doth become the mouth as well;
Weigh them, it is as heavy; conjure with ’em,
Brutus will start a spirit as soon as Caesar.
— Julius Caesar SCENE II. A public place.

Since you, and all other Americans who are not DemoZombies, are “Never. No. NO. NO! Not NEVER!” going to read the tedious tome of the world’s most self-humiliated woman, here’s the often odious (but lately less odious) Piers Morgan on Hillary Clinton’s What Happened? book. His main job is to catalogue her blame game  so you don’t have to.

The list of people and entities that Hillary DOES blame is so long, it’s frankly laughable.

It was James Comey’s fault: ‘If not for the dramatic intervention of the FBI director in the final days,’ she wails, ‘we would have won the White House.’

It was Vladimir Putin’s fault for waging a ‘personal vendetta’ against her. ‘I never imagined that he would have the audacity to launch a massive covert attack against our own democracy,’ she rants, ‘right under our noses – and that he’d get away with it.’

It was ‘odious hypocrite’ Julian Assange’s fault for supposedly aiding and abetting Putin. She says of the Wikileaks founder: ‘I had to face not just one America-bashing misogynist, but three. I’d have to get by Putin and Assange as well.’

It was Barack Obama’s fault: ‘I do wonder sometimes about what would have happened if President Obama had made a televised address to the nation in the fall of 2016 warning that our democracy was under attack,’ she snarls. ‘Maybe more Americans would have woken up to the threat at the time.’ She also slams Obama for telling her to ‘lay off’ Bernie Sanders: ‘I felt like I was in a straightjacket.’

It was Sanders’ fault for ‘resorting to innuendo and impugning my character’. Hillary spat: ‘His attacks caused lasting damage, making it harder to unify progressives in the general election and paving the way for Trump’s ‘Crooked Hillary’ campaign.’

It was also Sanders supporters’ fault for ‘harassing my supporters online’ with attacks that were ‘ugly and more than a little sexist.’

It was GOP leader Mitch McConnell’s fault for putting partisanship ahead of national security: ‘McConnell knew better,’ Hillary slammed, ‘but he did it anyway.’

It was the mainstream media’s fault: ‘Many in the political media can’t bear to face their own role in helping elect Trump,’ she fumed, ‘from providing him free airtime to giving my emails three times more coverage than all the issues affecting people’s lives combined.’

In particular, she says it was the New York Times’ fault for reporting on her emails in such a relentless way that it ‘affected the outcome of the election.’

It was Today Show host Matt Lauer’s fault for grilling her during a NBC presidential debate about her emails to the extent she was ‘ticked off’ and ‘almost physically sick’.

It was Fox News’ fault for ‘turning politics into an evidence-free zone of seething resentment.’

It was Green Party candidate Jill Stein’s fault: ‘There were more than enough Stein voters to swing the result, just like Ralph Nader did in Florida and New Hampshire in 2000.’

It was men’s fault: ‘Sexism and misogyny played a role in the election. Exhibit A is that the flagrantly sexist candidate won.’

It was women’s fault, especially those who joined anti-Trump marches after he won: ‘I couldn’t help but ask where those feelings of solidarity, outrage and passion had been during the election.’

It was white people’s fault: ‘He (Trump) was quite successful in referencing a nostalgia that would give hope, settle grievances, for millions of people who were upset about gains that were made by others…millions of white people.’

It was black people’s fault, especially Black Lives Matter protestors who questioned her commitment to their cause and heckled her at events. Hillary accuses them of being ‘more interested in disruption and confrontation than in working together to change policies.’

It was former Vice President Joe Biden’s fault for saying the Democratic Party ‘did not talk about what it always stood for’ in the campaign, which was ‘how to maintain a burgeoning middle class.’ Hillary seethes: ‘I find this fairly remarkable, considering Joe himself campaigned for me all over the Midwest and talked plenty about the middle class.’

It was her aide Huma Abedin’s husband Anthony Weiner’s fault for the teenage sexting scandal that blew up just before election day – forcing the emails back into public focus.

It was the ‘godforsaken’ Electoral College’s fault because she won the meaningless popular vote by three million.

Finally, it was history’s fault: ‘The problems started with history,’ she insists. ‘It was exceedingly difficult for either party to hold onto the White House for more than eight years in a row.’

Summing things up, Hillary asks herself: ‘What makes me such a lightning rod for fury? I’m at a loss.’

Hmmm, where do we start?

The truth is that everyone knows exactly what happened.

Hillary ran a diabolically elitist and blinkered campaign that basically boiled down to this mantra: ‘Trump’s disgusting, his supporters are a basket of deplorable idiots, I’m a brilliant woman, my husband used to be President, and I have lots of rich, famous friends – so vote for me.’