≡ Menu

The New Yorker. Yes, the New Yorker

Earlier today I saved this meme without knowing the back story:
And then a friend hipped me to the back story:

New Yorker Suspends Jeffrey Toobin for Masturbating on Zoom Call

Two people who were on the call told Motherboard separately that the call was an election simulation featuring many of the New Yorker’s biggest stars: Jane Mayer was playing establishment Republicans; Evan Osnos was Joe Biden, Jelani Cobb was establishment Democrats, Masha Gessen played Donald Trump, Andrew Marantz was the far right, Sue Halpern was left wing democrats, Dexter Filkins was the military, and Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts. There were also a handful of other producers on the call from the New Yorker and WNYC.

Both people, who spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to speak freely, noted that it was unclear how much each individual person on the call saw, but both of the people we spoke to said that they saw Toobin jerking off. The two sources described a juncture in the election simulation when there was a strategy session, and the Democrats and Republicans went into their respective break out rooms for about 10 minutes. At this point, they said, it seemed like Toobin was on a second video call. The sources said that when the groups returned from their break out rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his penis. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see, and the simulation continued.

Perhaps he mistook the election simulation for an erection stimulation.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Casey Klahn October 19, 2020, 3:11 PM

    I told you the dems were just jakn off; not running an election.

  • Auntie Analogue October 19, 2020, 3:13 PM

    Well, the corrupt FBI has Peter Sztrok, and now The New Yorker has . . . peter stroke.

  • Gagdad Bob October 19, 2020, 3:19 PM

    In his defense, he thought they said erection stimulation.

  • ambiguousfrog October 19, 2020, 3:22 PM

    I’ve come to the conclusion only deviants and parasites inhabit the federal government and media today. They “suck” off the rest of us without contributing anything. Nobody of sound mind would do this. They’re all sick. It will now be referred to as a “stimulation” instead of simulation.

  • Mike Anderson October 19, 2020, 3:55 PM

    Just when I thought Q4 2020 couldn’t get any more freaky or frantic, we’re granted the moniker Zoom Dick complete with a lurid example. Help. I’ve fallen behind, and I can’t keep up.

  • Rob De Witt October 19, 2020, 5:45 PM

    It’s been apparent to me since high school – class of 1963 – that the power brokers running for class office and student council had something fundamentally wrong with them. Nothing I’ve seen since has disabused me of that notion.

    This applies to ALL politicos, Left or Right, btw. Normal people don’t care about this crap.

    Remember what the world seemed like when you were 24, all the wonders and possibilities? When Dennis Kucinich was 24 he was the mayor of Cleveland. Let that sink in.

  • H October 19, 2020, 5:47 PM

    Take what comfort you may find in knowing that this was almost certainly not the first time he’s done it, because that’s what folks like that do.

    Take what discomfort you may find in knowing that the NYT will rehabilitate him sooner rather than later, and even if they don’t, something that looks just like them will, because that’s what folks like that do. I’m thinking CNN or NPR…….

  • Neuday October 19, 2020, 6:12 PM

    Jews….waddaya waddaya.

  • PA Cat October 19, 2020, 7:14 PM

    “At this point, they said, it seemed like Toobin was on a second video call.”

    He was rehearsing his show-and-tell with Harvey Weinstein and Anthony Weiner before entertaining his New Yorker colleagues.

  • JoeDaddy October 20, 2020, 3:13 AM

    Aw, C’mon man. Here’s the deal. Tubesteak Toobin was taking ‘dicktation’ for his role.

  • ghostsniper October 20, 2020, 4:48 AM

    Video or it didn’t happen.

  • Roy Lofquist October 20, 2020, 4:53 AM

    Ever notice that they never have people of the oriental persuasion reporting on the erections?

  • Nori October 20, 2020, 6:42 AM

    Was he wearing a mask?

  • ghostsniper October 20, 2020, 7:04 AM

    No, but his pipe was sporting a snorkel.

  • Nori October 20, 2020, 7:36 AM

    Iowahawk on Twitter: “I bet CNN doesn’t keep Toobin suspended for long because he’s shown a lot of spunk.”

  • Aggie October 20, 2020, 7:48 AM

    It’s nice that he apologized for his mistake of letting anybody see that he’s really a completely disgusting, self-involved pervert.

  • Geo October 20, 2020, 9:10 AM

    I’d bet anything that this isn’t Tubein’s first “hung jury”

  • EX-Californian Pete October 20, 2020, 9:12 AM

    Toobin would have been charged with indecent exposure and lewd conduct, HOWEVER, after Law Enforcement and Court officials reviewed the videos and saw the extremely small size of Toobin’s genitalia, all charges were dropped- due to “LACK OF EVIDENCE!”

  • MadTNTaxpayer October 20, 2020, 9:15 AM

    No words to describe this pervert: The headline should read: Toobin Twerking for Tubor. In case you missed it, here is the definition of “tubor”.from the Urban Dictionary ” A TUBOR is a type of goat milk that the goat only produces when it is horny” I kid you not, Google the word. So Toobin is a horny old goat!

  • Harry D Sauls October 20, 2020, 9:15 AM

    Where’s Eddy Arnold when you need him

  • iggy October 20, 2020, 9:20 AM

    I’m sure he was “inspired” by his autographed desk photo of RBG…

  • Snakepit Kansas October 20, 2020, 3:49 PM

    Ghost,
    I don’t really think anyone wants to see the video of this dude buttering his corn.

  • ghostsniper October 20, 2020, 7:12 PM

    lol, thanks for the mental visual…..

  • Bop Crash October 20, 2020, 8:00 PM

    I’m thinking everybody on the meeting was all worked up. Ol’ Jeff just got there first.

  • Rob De Witt October 20, 2020, 11:07 PM

    Harry,

    Eddie Arnold? Cattle Call?

    Je me don’t get it.

  • Klaus October 21, 2020, 4:45 AM

    I think he meant Eddie Albert

  • IB joe October 21, 2020, 7:48 AM

    Henceforth known as The New Yanker.

  • Rob De Witt October 21, 2020, 9:17 AM

    Eddie Albert? Green Acres?

    I still don’t get it.

  • Skorpion October 21, 2020, 12:52 PM

    If Toobin goes on trial over this, the evidence *won’t stand up in court!*

    (Thank you, thank you. Remember to tip your veal and try the waitress!)