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The Strangers Knocking at My Door

As they did last year, they’ve come twice in the last day. They’re kids out running “a raise money for NARAL” scam. They get a cut of anything they pull in, and they sell any info they get to Planned Parenthood or other death mills.

They’re pleasant and they are enthusiastic (I love the painting! I really admire the tree!) and they hand you the clipboard expecting you to sign in your enthusiasm to support their “work.”

I listen and then I tell them, “No, I don’t support what you’re doing or the people and causes that you represent. I think it’s evil for you to do this, and worse still to do it for money.”

Here in Seattle’s Queen Anne, where smiles, nods and signups for their scam are their usual rewards, they seem genuinely surprised and taken aback.

“You mean you’re not pro-choice?”

I assure them that I am not even if though, long ago, I was.

Yesterday evening, at night on the darkened porch, it was a young woman. She just shook her head and walked away to get on with her “mission” of going door to door bilking pro-choicers out of money. I guess she forgot to leave the chalk mark on my door that indicates “Satan!” because just now a boy old enough to be a man but forever avoiding it knocked with the same knock and announced himself as, “Hello, I’m your friendly neighborhood feminist.” He pointed towards the pink watch cap he wore.

He ran through the same spiel and handed me what could have been the same clipboard. I listened and handed it back to it saying, “I don’t support this.”

“You mean, you’re not pro-choice?”

“Do you have any children?”

“Ah… no.”

“Have you even been through an abortion with, say, a woman you love in support of her right to choose?”

“Well, no.”

“I’ve been through two. The first was one that I supported. The second was one that I had deep misgivings about but didn’t oppose.

“Those were all long ago, but now I know that those were two children I didn’t have and will never know, and not a month goes by I don’t think about that and regret it.

“If it ever happens to you, you’ll agree at the time and then, years later, it will come back to you. It will come back to you that you are missing children in your life and it is partially your doing. And it will haunt you, the thought of the people they could have been.

“You’re young and deluded. You’re going to walk away and make this a story you’ll tell to the other kids out running your scam. Then you’ll forget all about it for years, maybe decades, and you’ll go off and have some abortions of your own.

“And then one day, years after that, you’ll come to know what I know now. That’s when you’ll remember me; a man who through his own vanity and foolishness, kept two children out of his life.

“That’s when you’ll remember this moment. But like me, it will be too late for you.”

He walked away shaking his head, already moving into the forgetting. Some day, it will come back to him. I’ll be remembered as a stranger, but suddenly not all that strange.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • CHris November 22, 2017, 10:18 AM

    I already know of what you speak. Two abortions both of which I opposed. With good reason my ex has that status of ex. I’m 48 now… dating a woman 15 years younger… her youth and desire to have children fills me with something I haven’t felt in many years….


  • MMinLamesa November 22, 2017, 12:05 PM

    I know exactly the feelings you speak of Sir having been the participant in a sad number of abortions in my youth. Regret doesn’t begin to cover it. Couple that with the death of my only child last Dec, my beautiful 37 year old daughter who died unexpectedly and it’s enough for some serious despair.

  • Bill Jones November 22, 2017, 12:09 PM

    Chris, I was 47 when I had my son.
    Other than the instant utter devastation of every room the enters, I’ve never had any regrets.

  • JD November 22, 2017, 12:30 PM

    Chris: Get busy bro, you have time for at least three. Trust me, I know.
    MMin: Cherish what you had with your daughter. It is more than many will ever know.
    Gerard: Thanks for another amazing post. I check here three times a day for moments like that talk to the “neighborhood feminist”. It is better that morons like that don’t reproduce.

  • theduchessofkitty November 22, 2017, 12:47 PM

    An old friend of my husband discovered, many years ago, that the girlfriend he loved dearly was pregnant with his child… which then she aborted. He was so devastated and angry, he swore to never see her again. And he did not.

    I know for certain that he is happy with his child now, learning more about the life cut short. He committed suicide eight years ago.

  • Rob De Witt November 22, 2017, 1:02 PM

    Men support abortion because it handily lets them off the hook, although they have lots of rationalization to avoid recognizing that fact.

    Women support abortion because they are selfish, and have never even briefly considered the validity of someone else’s feelings.

    Do I seem bitter? If so, it’s because my children, living and unborn, have been taken from me without so much as a by-your-leave, and by people who then casually blame men for the existence of single mothers. I’m 72; it never stops hurting.

  • Vanderleun November 22, 2017, 2:11 PM

    Me neither.

  • Anon November 22, 2017, 4:14 PM

    My adult daughter is bi-polar and at the time of her pregnancy a user of hard drugs. She was advised to get an abortion but her catholic mother wouldn’t take but wanted me to take her (I get that, not criticizing). Excuse the comparison but I was reminded of the day I went home to visit my parents after some years of being away and they asked me if I could take the family dog to the vet to be euthanized. I found it surprisingly easy to do while may parents never wanted to talk about it again. So I did it, some 30 years ago now. My daughter is still very ill (bi-polar is very different for different people) some times when I visit her she barely can hold a conversation. But I have had regrets. I doubt that if she had birthed the child that she would have kept it or been able to raise it. I feel bad sometimes, I feel that perhaps it was better for all concerned sometimes, I feel like I should have copped out like her mother did and just let her fend for herself instead of taking her to the abortion clinic. I also feel angry when anyone states that drugs shouldn’t be illegal and it is right that people should be able to choose to do drugs. I suspect the drugs made her mental illness worse, much worse.

  • Julio November 22, 2017, 7:30 PM

    Twenty five years old when I made the most horrible and haunting decision that will always affect me. I’m 55 now. I was a gutless coward. Too timid and selfish to say no to my girlfriend. I wonder where my heart and soul went that day, when I was capable of being complicit of such a heinous act. I despise myself for my cowardice and feel I am not worthy of forgiveness. I know my Savior’s grace and mercy is more powerful than any sin I can commit but I’m having trouble…just having trouble. I am ashamed and have broken down many times in anguish at what I allowed to happen….

  • Groman November 23, 2017, 4:57 AM

    I was twenty years old and the girl I lived with became pregnant even though she was on the pill. She and her sister decided that she would have an abortion. I didn’t agree but was too much of a coward to put up much of a fight. I remember the day she came home after the procedure. She looked miserable. Her sister was very supportive and kept reassuring her that she had made the right decision. I knew that we had committed a grave sin. To this day, forty five years later, I regret my complicity. We separated a few years later. I eventually married and had children, she never married and ended up adopting a child from overseas. Even though it has been years, I still ask the Lord for forgiveness.

  • EndOfPatience November 23, 2017, 6:12 PM

    It’s been 45 years. After the first few, I’ve thought about it every day.

    Every single day.

  • Ron Robertson November 23, 2017, 10:03 PM

    Thank you.
    God bless your wonderful commentors.
    Love, Ron.

  • pst314 November 24, 2017, 12:43 PM

    running “a raise money for NARAL” scam. They get a cut of anything they pull in

    I have no idea how much of a cut they get, but they, like Human Rights Campaign, did not disclose data to the Better Business Bureau which is an excellent indication that they are a scam. I’d like to know how much the canvassers get and how much the executives earn. Nearly all, probably.

  • Chris November 24, 2017, 5:17 PM

    Looking at the comments from the men here who have had their children executed without their permission, I would think that we could put a stop to the murder if we organized and forcefully ended the operations of these fucking murder factories. It would be as if we destroyed the gas chambers at Auschwitz.