January 09, 2005
BARREN COUPLES ARE COMMON AS CABBIES IN NEW YORK. Generally, they fill a valuable eco-niche as cube trolls or organization people who mistake their jobs for 'careers.'They keep the restaurants and Lincoln Center humming.
The barren urban couple often forms not from love, but from a mutual understanding that, together, they enhance each other's ability to climb socially and professionally, and that they can afford a much better apartment than would otherwise be the case. It is not unknown for a barren couple to form because one of them actually has, usually via divorce, a better apartment. It is not so much a marriage as it is a deal.
In place of children, the barren urbans have pets, which being cheaper and more convenient, fit well into their climbing. In time these pets grow to resemble, in their eyes, children which can be palmed off to the kennel in case of vacation. Some are known to keep pictures of the pets, usually cats since they do not have to be walked, in their wallets and in their cubicals. They keep their pets in a state of perpetual luxury and fetid indulgence.
They will regal you, if you let them, with hours of pap about the "intelligence" and charming nature of their pets, much as other people will brag about their children or grandchildren. In time, the barren urbans will become convinced that pets=children and behave accordingly. But since, in reality, pets are simply animals, they forget that other people's children are not, and are therefore not fair game for whatever sleazy little thought crawls into their barren souls.
Posted by Vanderleun at January 9, 2005 06:41 AM