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April 21, 2017

The Japanese: Nuked too much or not enough?

Sumo Wrestlers Enjoy Cherry Blossom Season
ajapansumo.jpg
"Are we not men? No! We are Sumo!"

Posted by gerardvanderleun at April 21, 2017 9:05 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

The thing about grossly obese fat fux is, if you punch em hard in the solar plexus they are completely out of commission. It's gotta be a good solid *slam* right in the center. The enormous bulk of cellulite acts like a tuning fork and cavitates their thorax and the whole system shuts down, they collapse on the floor. Once down like that you can then deal with them accordingly cause their sole effort at that point is to deal with their morbid obesity trying to kill them. If you're wearing good Danners like you should you can just peel their ears off the sides, skin their nose off, distort their entire visage and resulting long range persona if they survive. A couple forward snaps to the abdomen for good measure.

**Semi open palm in flight and just prior to impact clench real hard. Your fist will be like reinf concrete wrapped in case hardened steel.

The key is to get it to swing at your first with verbal abuse, taunting, etc. It takes quite a bit of power for a fat fuk to get a 40lb arm in motion so you can see the thing before it actually happens. Using your subordinate arm you swiftly sweep the gargantuan bag of crisco aside while simultaneously bringing your power side up to lightspeed. Block and jab gentlemen, block and jab, all one motion all the time. Sweep, step in, jab. Right in the middle, you can't miss that huge target. Then step back and don't let it fall on you. Remember, when you step back do so with a sliding foot, don't lift it off the ground. If there is debris on the floor a sliding foot will push it out of the way but a foot in the air can stumble. Be prepared for his obese buddy from behind. When he grabs you in a bearhug like they always do quickly slide down and elbow him hard in the nuts, then turn and go for that solar. Done. 2 for the price of 1.

Lastly, if you punch a fat fuk in the head you will do more harm to yourself than the fuk. Fat is not skin deep, it goes all the way down to the core. They have very thick skullz. You will break your hand. Don't do it. If you kick a fat fuk in the head do so with the ball of your foot (forward snap) or the heel (reverse roundhouse).

Now, go out and practice on some american communists.

Posted by: ghostsniper at April 21, 2017 9:40 AM

The profound delicacy of the vernal cherry blossoms juxtaposed with the meaty masculinity of the wrestlers is inspired. Well done, Japan, again I say nuked to perfection!

Posted by: Bunny at April 21, 2017 9:42 AM

Too much. Nuked.

Posted by: Casey Klahn at April 21, 2017 4:53 PM

He's pretty svelte for a Sumo. We may be looking at Mr February for next year's Men of Sumo Calendar.

Posted by: Nori at April 21, 2017 8:46 PM

Ghost you are wrong about this one. He could rip you apart like a chicken wing.

Posted by: pbird at April 22, 2017 10:42 AM

Everything is possible but only a few things are likely.
Your claim pivots on the word *could* and it goes both ways, as I intimated above.

Posted by: ghostsniper at April 22, 2017 12:30 PM

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