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October 31, 2015
A server will never say this to your face but we all know your gluten allergy is fake.
Your gluten allergy is fake because it ‘comes and goes.’ Your gluten allergy is fake because you will eat at an Italian restaurant but walk away fine because you ordered the gluten free pasta. Your gluten allergy is fake because after reminding your server ten times that you’re highly allergic, you complain to a manager that you were never brought a basket of bread. Your gluten allergy is fake because you asked your server for gluten free biscuits, but extra gravy, please. Your gluten allergy is fake because you didn’t spend months or years in crippling pain and constant digestive distress before cutting gluten from your diet. Your gluten allergy is fake because you only realized you had the allergy after spending a day sick watching daytime television and hearing about the allergy on The View, shrieked at you by a dozen airheaded harpies who have latched on to gluten as the current ‘Number One Threat to Americans and Their Children.’ Your gluten allergy is fake and I hate you : TalesFromYourServer
Posted by gerardvanderleun at October 31, 2015 12:49 PM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.
Your Say
I can remember, many decades ago there was a book that glorified gluten. I thumbed through it in the bookstore. (This was back in the day when there places called "bookstores" that, as the name might suggest, actually sold real, printed-on-paper books.) The book had a recipe for how to make concentrated gluten from wheat flour, and it had recipes for how to use it as a sort of substitute for meat or tofu. Weird. It would be interesting to see a copy of it today, just to see what it said.
Posted by: Grizzly ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://americandigest.org/sidelines/nav-commenters.gif)
at October 31, 2015 4:34 PM
Wheat has been GMO'd to the point where it no longer bears any resemblance to what was eaten 100 years ago
Posted by: bilejones at October 31, 2015 6:54 PM
People that claim odd or unusual or hard to prove conditions vibe: loser
Posted by: chasmatic at November 1, 2015 7:27 AM
You're talking about seitan, wheat gluten as a meat substitute. Google it up and be amazed at how popular it still is!
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at November 1, 2015 2:25 PM
There is a certain species of humans running loose out there that find power in being losers, at everything. My MIL is one of them, and after 30+ years I can barely tolerate her bullshit. Unfortunately the season is fast approaching where I'll have to endure her endless bragging about her personal shortcomings. As far as I can tell she has only eaten 2 things in her entire life, mashed potatoes and Nestle Crunch bars.
Posted by: ghostsniper at November 1, 2015 2:27 PM
My MIL made herself the center of attention in the most absurd and hilarious ways. If she had known of these faux-allergy opportunities, she would have used them like a broadsword, though she could out-eat two men, and to watch her eat was a horror. As her 70 y.o. husband was being prepped for prostate surgery, the surgeon came to discuss it with the family, the standard gross of humans who invade the waiting rooms and set up camp. MIL could not stand her husband getting all the attention, so she declared loudly that she was having trouble with her prostate, too. In the stunned silence that followed, the surgeon beat a hasty retreat and the family hurried to a safe distance from still clueless MIL so they could laugh their asses off about Grandma's Prostate. She was so strong and domineering, I was never sure after that whether or not she was hiding a large scrotum, but I'm positive no food ever dared challenge her digestive tract and her nightly dose of Epsom salts.
Posted by: twolaneflash at November 4, 2015 10:09 AM