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September 8, 2015

8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live

anycexit.jpg

With audible murmurs of "This is no way to live," "What the hell am I doing here—I hate it here," and "Fuck this place. Fuck this horrible place,"
all 8.4 million citizens in each of the five boroughs packed up their belongings and told reporters they would rather blow their brains out with a shotgun than spend another waking moment in this festering cesspool of filth and scum and sadness. By 5:15 p.m. there was gridlock traffic on the outbound sides of the Holland and Lincoln tunnels, and the area's three major airports were flooded with New Yorkers, all of whom said they wanted to go anyplace where the pressure of 20 million tons of concrete wasn't constantly suffocating them. - America's Finest News Source

Posted by gerardvanderleun at September 8, 2015 9:34 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

"Escape from New York" gridlock. The windshield cleaners will have a field day.

Posted by: Vermont Woodchuck [TypeKey Profile Page] at September 8, 2015 10:47 AM

So they went to Jersey? Can't be that bad.

Posted by: BillH [TypeKey Profile Page] at September 8, 2015 1:58 PM

They should go to Detroit; I hear real estate is cheap there, and lots of room.

Posted by: chasmatic [TypeKey Profile Page] at September 9, 2015 10:16 AM

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