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August 21, 2015

“‘Whoo-oop! bow your neck and spread, for the kingdom of sorrow’s a-coming!"

Hold me down to the earth, for I feel my powers a-working! whoo-oop! I’m a child of sin, don’t let me get a start! Smoked glass, here, for all! Don’t attempt to look at me with the naked eye, gentlemen! When I’m playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales! I scratch my head with the lightning, and purr myself to sleep with the thunder! When I’m cold, I bile the Gulf of Mexico and bathe in it; when I’m hot I fan myself with an equinoctial storm; when I’m thirsty I reach up and suck a cloud dry like a sponge; when I range the earth hungry, famine follows in my tracks! Whoo-oop! Bow your neck and spread! I put my hand on the sun’s face and make it night in the earth; I bite a piece out of the moon and hurry the seasons; I shake myself and crumble the mountains! Contemplate me through leather–don’t use the naked eye! I’m the man with a petrified heart and biler-iron bowels! The massacre of isolated communities is the pastime of my idle moments, the destruction of nationalities the serious business of my life! The boundless vastness of the great American desert is my enclosed property, and I bury my dead on my own premises!’ He jumped up and cracked his heels together three times before he lit (they cheered him again), and as he come down he shouted out: 'Whoo-oop! bow your neck and spread, for the pet child of calamity’s a-coming! ’” Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi via HappyAcres

Posted by gerardvanderleun at August 21, 2015 6:27 PM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

Expected to see that attributed to Donald Trump.

Posted by: BillH [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 22, 2015 7:13 AM

Great writer and " Life on the Mississippi" was fun to read when i was a kid. That was one of the things i thought politicians should have studied was the ex-keelboatmen mannerism and talk. If your going to lie through your teeth, you might as well do it with flair

Posted by: Kelvin [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 22, 2015 7:19 AM

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