The Top 40

Can't we just hang them with piano wire?

No, piano wire is too good for them.

There are at least two problems with Express Lanes. The first is that stores do not enforce their own limits; the clerks simply ignore it.

The second is that limits are set a so high as to be meaningless; Wal-Mart says 20 items, my local grocer says 15. So virtually all shoppers can use the express lanes anyway and there is no 'express' for anyone.

Most shoppers now use some sort of payment card rather than cash. And half of them don't know how the gadgets work. Of the other half most can't understand the concept of being rejected because of an overdraft or credit limit.

Finally, ten percent of the time the card reader won't work or becomes upset. Then a supervisor must reset it.

You know we didn't have these annoyances when we had slaves to do our shopping.

Is a six pack one or six items? And believe it or not some shoppers still write out paper checks, complete with rubber stamp fill out the blanks, driver's lic. no. etc., and then ask for cigarettes which lie over yon counter on other side of store.
I've taken to shopping at 6:30 am to avoid the crowds.

Isn't there some federal agency that can publish some lane neutrality rules and just get rid of express lanes?

Then there are those persons (my wife included) who wait until the clerk announces the total at the register before doing any of the necessary follow-on actions. At this point they will unshoulder their purse; undo the flap or zipper; extract the "large" wallet; fumble for a particular credit card; Swipe the card, etc; fumble with the wallet; insert the card and the receipt; struggle to reinsert the wallet into an already overstuffed purse; zip the wallet into an interior compartment; close and fasten the purse; reshoulder the purse. It is all too painful to watch. Better to stay at home or go veeerrry early.

I order online. Takes a little forethought. No lines. No nuthin. Stuff shows up on the porch the next day.

Lazarus, I've been behind you wife at the Price Chopper.

And who among us can confess to no shopping? Bargains can be enjoyed at the dented/no-label can pile.
Luddites avoid shopping altogether. What they can't make or grow they do not need.
My uncle Letsgo Lozko has an intricate barter system among his neighbors. Each member shops in only one specific store. One guy is the canned guy, another the frozen foods. the pinnacle of the shopping assignments is the dairy person. Best left to females, they somehow have a knack for it.

Monty James said, "Can't we just hang them with piano wire?"

Hangins' too good for'em, burnins' too good for'em, they should be torn into itsy bitsy pieces and buried alive!
~Hanover Fiste