« Adam Carolla: 'I'm Done Apologizing' | Main | The future of the Toronto Blue Jays »
March 6, 2015
Don’t let cellphone radiation affect sperm count!
The prestigious Cleveland Clinic and the Journal of Andrology have both reported dramatic reduction in sperm count and quality in men whose reproductive area is exposed to cell phone radiation. Carrying your phone in your front pocket puts it right in the sensitive kill zone. RadiaShield Boxer Briefs reduce radiation exposure to reproductive organs. High level microwave protection is built into the codpiece and back. Luxurious Modal/Spandex plus RadiaShield Fabric provides stretchy comfort for all day wear. Anti-bacterial, anti-odor, light-weight, breathable, and machine washable too! Specify size when ordering: s, m, L, xL.EMF Safety Garments, Bedding, & Grounding Devices
Posted by gerardvanderleun at March 6, 2015 4:26 PM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.
Your Say
Not the Onion, $49 from Amazon. No reviews yet, looks like an opportunity for the enterprising reviewer.
Posted by: chuck ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://americandigest.org/sidelines/nav-commenters.gif)
at March 6, 2015 4:49 PM
Darwin in action. Anybody so fucking stupid that he carries a government monitor around in his pocket is a poor choice for fertility.
Posted by: Rob De Witt at March 6, 2015 5:55 PM
A Faraday for your nutsak, what next, sexting with your taint?
Posted by: ghostsniper at March 6, 2015 7:02 PM
They all have them Rob. And they are very very proud of having the most up to date tracking available. Paging Winston Smith. Your dystopia has arrived.
JWM
Posted by: John M at March 6, 2015 7:53 PM
Stealthy but true:
The real reason for these jocks is to trap deadly beta rays in the jock, thus causing sterility due to fifth-wave harmonics. GPS won't be necessary; low-sensitivity IR drones will do just fine. Line up boys, and count off.
Posted by: chasmatic at March 6, 2015 9:47 PM
I thought we had more time. I was wrong. The gates of Rome are open and the modern day Vandals and other assorted unwashed are in the streets. Won't be anyone fiddling this time, probably a couple dirty bombs to finish off these self-centered clowns.
Posted by: Vermont Woodchuck at March 7, 2015 6:42 AM
From the looks of things this guy doesn't have too many sperm to begin with...
Posted by: ahem at March 7, 2015 7:17 AM
If this, er, male wore both the jock and the radiant suit mentioned further up the sidebar he would self-immolate. Shrug.
Posted by: chasmatic at March 7, 2015 11:50 AM
It's the estrogen in the soy latte' he's drinking that's going to kill his sperm count.
Posted by: Speller at March 8, 2015 12:36 AM