The Top 40

Ha, ha. We live in the age of the crackpot. They are everywhere, from politics to the fringes of physics. In the future, everyone will be batshit crazy for their fifteen minutes minutes of transcendence.

The universe is expanding because there is too much air in between everything.
My uncle Letsgo "Bantam Chicken" Lozko once made a coop that was twice as big as he needed, figuring the more room the hens had the more eggs they would lay. Not so. "Same chickens, dey still make same eggs." he reported.

Our world is in big trouble. The magnetic poles flip every so often and we don’t even remark on it. Earth’s axis is tilting ever so slowly but certainly, a degree at a time. Our circumference varies like hemlines. I tell ya, we’re out of whack. The planet is also losing weight. Hard to see but all that metal we been sending up into space does not return. I know the water is in a closed loop but even so a couple drops here and there, it adds up.

Besides, I’m already furlongs ahead of the game by contemplating the weight loss or gain of our solar system. I tell ya, this could turn out, eclipse global warming. How’s your helium footprint?

Nine out of ten international experts agree* that “Helium, on the other hand, is a different matter. It represents 0.00052% of the volume in our atmosphere, but it's mainly harvested from natural gas using a process called fractional distillation. Helium is becoming scarce in our planet.”

There are strong arguments for the Earth actually losing weight. This article is one of many that describe several possible causes and concludes that specific elements leaving Earth’s atmosphere will cause weight loss. If I were playing the stocks and commodity markets I would buy shares in helium companies or support research that would allow us to split an atom or two and create more of the stuff. As it is I monitor what parameters I can and have formulated lighter Earth/heavier Earth scenarios. Ballistics is one field of many that is being affected as we speak.

*The tenth international expert says: “This planet isn't losing weight. The infall of meteor dust is considerable, forgotten long ago how much, but some very large number of tons per year. It could be in the millions. Maybe even thousands. Who knows, hundreds could be involved.”
It should be noted that this expert is of the old school, only endorses that which he thought of first.

Thanks for that Al Sharpton explanation chas. I feel better now.

Er, Bill, I didn't think Sharpton was polysyllabic, shrug.

When I get to drifting I get out there a ways but I never lose sight of shore. Well, maybe once in a while.

My uncle Letsgo the Bantam King Lozko had an idea once, make some money by collecting the methane from chicken farts. He introduced a lot of beans into their diet and rigged up an extractor fan to collect the gas. It didn't work out so well; a couple of the hens got caught in the blades and wrecked the fan.

chas' incontrovertible information brings up another mystery: Where has all the weight gone to that people on weight loss programs have lost??
Has anyone, emaciated or not, found this weight?
Some may say the weight [fat, etc.] was converted to energy -- how is this possible if those who lose weight take more and longer naps than formerly? And who has noticed Formerly napping as a standard for comparison?
chuck, you've hit the male on the head! Brian Williams and I still have three minutes each of transcendence remaining.

All right Stug. It is a well known fact that fat cells accumulate and hold water. When one loses weight that water leaves the body, ergo weight loss.

Now to account for that water we have the Global Warmists calculating the rise in sea levels. They figured that if Moochelle's "School Lunch Program" is successful with the loss of childhood obesity, our coastal cities will flood up to the fifth storey in places like NYC. Reno will become beachfront property.

The only hope for preventing this is through conversion of water directly to vapor by immolation of environmentalists; Accomplish this by using them as substitute fuel in coal fired eclectic generation plants.

Settled Science does provide solutions.

The real problem here is that physics profession has turned into a welfare scam. In the early part of the 20th century, physicists invented all kinds of new cool stuff like nuclear weapons, transistors, and lasers.

The Government was so impressed it put them on the payroll. Problem is that the well ran dry twenty or thirty years ago. Physicists try to look busy these days so the honey will keep flowing.

One of their tricks is spouting junk about the origins of the universe, like they have a clue. Here is the real answer:

[1] Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind:
[2] "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
[3] "Gird up your loins like a man, I will question you, and you will answer me.
[4] "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know.
[5] Who set its dimensions -- surely you know! And who stretched the line on it?
[6] On what were its bases sunk, and who laid its cornerstone,
[7] when the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

Tell the physicists they are done, turn out the lights, and send them home. Their 2 weeks of severance pay will be in the mail. They will be eligible for standard unemployment, but they best start their job searches asap.

I'll go with you, Fat Man. Nothing new under the sun. So mote it be.

Ecclesiastes 1

1-The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.

2-Vanity of vanities, said the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.

3-What profit has a man of all his labor which he takes under the sun?

4-One generation passes away, and another generation comes: but the earth stays for ever.

5-The sun also rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to his place where he arose.

6-The wind goes toward the south, and turns about to the north; it whirls about continually, and the wind returns again according to his circuits.

7-All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; to the place from where the rivers come, thither they return again.

8-All things are full of labor; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.

9-The thing that has been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

10-Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it has been already of old time, which was before us.

11-There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.