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February 5, 2015
Previously Unknown Use for Your Beard
Posted by gerardvanderleun at February 5, 2015 10:20 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.
Your Say
Other saving suggestions:
Whistle 'Dixie' to the tune of 'When the Saints Go Marching In.' This will generate heat and sustain you.
Simultaneously, wiggle or wriggle your ears at hummingbird wing velocity. This will give you enough aerodynamic lift to flip you at least partially out of the icy water. Caution: If your ears oscillate in the wrong direction you may be driven deeper into the water.
If by chance a polar bear comes by thinking you're a tasteful seal, grab the bear by the snout and the bear will haul you out [everyone nose that a snout grab is unbearable for bears in bareskin].
Uh-oh, time for my next electroshock treatment.
Posted by: Stug Guts ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://americandigest.org/sidelines/nav-commenters.gif)
at February 5, 2015 5:20 PM
No. I won't.
Posted by: Fat Man at February 5, 2015 7:35 PM
Avoid getting a hardon since that will pull blood from your body's core and more quickly reduce reduce your temperature.
Posted by: Vermont Woodchuck at February 6, 2015 8:11 AM
My uncle Louie Lozko, known to the world as "Letsgo Lozko" raised bantam chickens.
In one of his creative moments he designed a coat that had chicken feathers as insulation.
He claimed that the coats would have much flotation due to the feathers.
Lie to no one.
If it’s somebody close to you, you’re gonna ruin it with a lie.
If it’s a stranger, who the fuck are they that you gotta lie to them?
Posted by: chasmatic at February 8, 2015 11:19 PM