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February 9, 2015
And so the cyber apocalypse begins: robot vacuum cleaner attacks South Korean housewife's hair
Robot vacuum cleaner 'attacks' South Korea housewife's hair - Telegraph A robotic vacuum cleaner "attacked" a South Korean woman while she slept by attempting to suck up the hair on her head The woman, a 52-year-old resident of Changwon who has not been named, was awoken by the pain and, unable to extricate herself from the robot, called the fire department for help.
Posted by gerardvanderleun at February 9, 2015 11:52 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.
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And here's "the rest of the story."
The Fire Department personnel, all of whom being robots as well, arriving immediately, recognized the plights of the woman and the vacuum cleaner. Acting then within Asimov's Laws of Robots, the Firefighters quickly and painlessly laser-shaved off the woman's hair, allowing the vacuum cleaner to complete its programmed job of cleaning up [gobbling up] the woman's unwashed hair; dirty by the vacuum cleaner's electronic dirt detectors.
The woman, safe now and bald, naturally had her head tatooed -- I'll leave it to subsequent commenters to describe the tatoo.
Posted by: Stug Guts at February 9, 2015 4:05 PM
The tattoo was an image of Kragon the Cruel, Emperor of the Third Crustacean Dynasty, Ruler of All Who Walk Upon the Ground or Swim in the Seas.
This is but a harbinger of the imminent invasion and addresses the legion of androids already in place. You think your iPhone is a phone? Hahaha. Any viewing screen emits a cloud of mind-controlling electrons. Sit closer to your computer, weak Earthlings. Watch your TVs, drive your cars. Soon you will be enslaved and at the mercy of the ammonia-breathing warriors. Life as you know it will become a mere existence.
Posted by: chasmatic at February 10, 2015 7:33 AM