The Top 40

Lose weight, kill a polar bear!

Moochele's butt won't cause Global Warming. It could bring on a new Ice Age.

Color me extremely skeptical. I would guess that most of the fat you burn gets pooped out, not breathed out as a gas.

So fat people should get carbon credits?

If you want to lose weight, do you need to negotiate with one of those useless eaters down at Walmart to gain the same amount?

I have a suggestion for a new carbon sequesteration program. Lets bury all the lawyers and climate scientists alive -- in a mass grave to save fuel, of course. I know this has nothing to do with lawyers. I'd just throw them in for fun.

I tell ya, we’re out of whack. The planet is also losing weight. Hard to see but all that metal we been sending up into space does not return. I know the water is in a closed loop but even so a couple drops here and there, it adds up.

Besides, I’m already furlongs ahead of the game by contemplating the weight loss or gain of our solar system. I tell ya, this could turn out, eclipse global warming. How’s your helium footprint?

Nine out of ten international experts agree that “Helium, on the other hand, is a different matter. It represents 0.00052% of the volume in our atmosphere, but it's mainly harvested from natural gas using a process called fractional distillation. Helium is becoming scarce in our planet.”

The tenth international expert says: “This planet isn't losing weight. The infall of meteor dust is considerable, forgotten long ago how much, but some very large number of tons per year. It could be in the millions. Maybe even thousands. Who knows, hundreds could be involved.”

*It should be noted that this expert is of the old school, only endorses that which he thought of first.

There are strong arguments for the Earth actually losing weight. This article is one of many that describe several possible causes and concludes that specific elements leaving Earth’s atmosphere will cause weight loss. If I were playing the stocks and commodity markets I would buy shares in helium companies or support research that would allow us to split an atom or two and create more of the stuff. As it is I monitor what parameters I can and have formulated lighter Earth/heavier Earth scenarios.

Ballistics is one field of many that is being affected as we speak.

True Chas.
While my ammo bank fluctuates widely though out the year the dirt berm at the end of the yard continues to get heavier. One of these days I need to make a big sifter.

We can equalize all this imbalance by only using organic water. Any other form would be bad for the planet.

and Chas, get that lead out before your yard tilts up from all that extra weight on one end.

I will take any opportunity to, ah, deposit some of that lead in anybody foolish enough to get inside my wire. If they run or crawl away with it doesn't matter to me. They might even leave some helium behind.