The Top 40

This news delivers a two-sided message, more if you count the edge:
+ A Distinguished Marksman award for Accurate shooting under stress;
- A reprimand for shooting a productive animal;
- Noise violation;
+ recognized initiative for increasing touristry and motel bookings;

Should the animal die, burial fees will be deducted from the officer's paycheck in addition to the ammunition costs. These expenses will be offset by the butcher's estimate of the cow's net worth on the scales. A contract is being drawn up for bidding purposes.

The bovine rioters are not easily cowed. While we poor saps try to steer clear of needed controversy, we allow the usual Philistines to slay us with THEIR microphones and jawbones. An asinine case of ass-ault and battery.

@Stug - on the udder hand, they will try to milk the situation for all it is worth.
Did I ever tell ya about my uncle Letsgo? Ach, better disregard that and moove on.

Er, don't you mean ass-ault and buttery?

My uncle Louie Lozko, we all called him "Letsgo Lozko", he raised bantam chickens.
He told me that anyone who lives in Fargo deserves whatever they get. That goes for the cows, too.