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August 8, 2014

I’ve been gearing up for the Sweet 16 by binge-watching episodes of MTV’s “My Super Sweet Sixteen”

I have this problem where I can’t differentiate between entertainment and reality.

Maybe I watched too much pro wrestling as a kid – or ate too many lead paint chips – but now when I watch TV all I see is this glorious, seizure-inducing mashup of lights, colors, and corporate slutdom. The images don’t reflect real people with real lives and ambitions and hopes and dreams, they’re just hilariously grotesque toddlers, all dolled up and obese, parading around on TLC and inflating my self-esteem in the process. No matter how much I might hate myself, at least I’m not a 3 year old in a weave and full make-up shaking my shit to White Snake’s “Here I Go Again” in an Alpharetta, Georgia Holiday Inn conference room in front of a packed crowd of 16 paedophilic adult males. Toddlers and Tiaras, Dance Moms, Real Housewives, Wife Swap, Nanny 911, Kitchen Nightmares – I eat that shit up like cake. And we hungry.
- - Culinary Bro-Down

Posted by gerardvanderleun at August 8, 2014 9:29 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

I'm rooting for the asteroid most days. "Make it a direct-hit Nibiru, I don't want to limp away from this train wreck."

Posted by: tscottme [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 8, 2014 2:11 PM

357 channels and nothings on.....

Posted by: ghostsniper [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 8, 2014 5:27 PM

Polka music. What that author needs is a good hard punch in the face and a couple hours polka music.

Posted by: chasmatic [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 9, 2014 5:58 AM

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