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May 22, 2014

Why? [Bumped]

an_openmouth.jpg

Why are so many young women these days going around with their mouths wide open in an expression that seems to be half shock-of-amazement, half giant-smile? HappyAcres

Posted by gerardvanderleun at May 22, 2014 9:54 PM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

Those are some serious gaping maws too. Still, beats duckface.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at May 19, 2014 11:17 AM

Could be....never mind.

Posted by: tripletap at May 19, 2014 11:19 AM

Because they take infinitely more pictures.

Posted by: james wilson at May 19, 2014 11:29 AM

I blame Obama

Posted by: bgarrett at May 19, 2014 12:12 PM

Same reason that in 1977 all the girls in the Fourth of July parade all had Farah Fawcett hair. Where do style trends come from? Ah, that I don't know. One summer all the teens wear shoes, the next summer they all wear sandals. I think some joker has hacked access to the racial subconscious and amuses himself thinking these things up.

Posted by: chuck at May 19, 2014 12:21 PM

It's an artifact of ubiquitous porn.

Posted by: Scott M at May 19, 2014 1:02 PM

Look for the animated gif of open mouth girl, in every photo she has the same expression on her face and her mouth hanging open. That was from several years back.

http://blog.jimmyr.com/Meet_Mouth_Open_Girl_13_2008.php

Posted by: Potsie at May 19, 2014 1:25 PM

Adenoids.

Posted by: BillH at May 19, 2014 2:00 PM

Hillary Clinton has done this for years. Proof her brain damage is not recent.

Posted by: winston at May 19, 2014 2:12 PM

Way better than that stupid Miley Cyrus tongue stinking out thing..

Posted by: Jake in Seattle at May 19, 2014 2:20 PM

They do it because:
Others do it;
They are drunk;
No - that really explains it all - young and drunk and others do it.

The same explanation is sufficient for late 1970's fashions.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at May 19, 2014 7:37 PM

Young prog ho's are constantly ready for sex, jethro klintin style.

Posted by: ghostsniper at May 19, 2014 7:49 PM

It might really have something to do with being much harder to photoshop or use for nefarious purposes.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at May 19, 2014 7:56 PM

It's because womankind is deliriously happy that technology has finally (!) given them what they have always desired: a means to chatter endlessly among themselves and share every waking moment. No woman will ever, even for a moment, be cut off from the worldwide troop of womanity. That they will be hyper-synchronized with all their sisters in the Great FemLink. That they will be one with the Body, one with Llandra. That finally, men will be forced to communicate with them on their terms, in their arena, and woe to any man who does not gleichschaltung themselves to the fine and subtle, ineffable and profound, both shallow and yet boundlessly deep, power of the woman's Word.

There are only two kinds of people. One are all women, and those men who have been assimilated or whose resistance is failing. They can be recognized by at every odd moment, even standing in a crowd of people under a glorious sun-bright and cloud-dappled sky, with swift birds darting through the trees, having only eyes and ears for their commPads. "For s/he to-day that shares their thoughts and deeds with all of us shall be our sisters; be s/he ne'er so vile, this day and always shall gentle hyr condition." Once you start down the communi path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will.

(I see them everywhere now, and I just wonder, what they could possibly be saying that is so all-fired important that they have to share it immediately with the world?)

And then there are the others, Outsiders!, who are not of the Body. Who put down their damn phads, turn them off, sort of accidentally deliberately on purpose forget where they are or let them become uncharged. So that they can get something done, so they can have joyful hours to immerse themselves in the acts of creating and doing and working by themselves or with a team. Who, when they are told "Turn on your phad! We will add your biological and cultural distinctiveness to our own. Your thoughts will be adapted to service us. Resistance is futile", are likely to respond with a colorful variant of "Nuts!"

It's because for women, the Singularity is upon them, they are crossing over, becoming Femo sapiens communiciensis, leaving their antique forms behind, and bringing along some eloi males for breeding stock.

And out beyond the Singularity, as yet unseen but perhaps inadvertently revealed by the too-frantic expressions of the young women in the photo, the wolves are gathering and circling in the dark, and they are hungry.

Posted by: John A. Fleming at May 20, 2014 1:54 AM

John, what a perfectly cynical vintage of wrathful grapes. Well done, sir!

When their jaws collectively drop in horror, will they remember to seflie it?

Yes, I verbed, "selfie."

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at May 20, 2014 4:07 AM

Don't look now, Joan, but you verbed, "verb."

Posted by: Arcs at May 20, 2014 6:48 AM

Hillary Clinton is the first one I can remember mugging like that. It was a frequent photo-op quirk of hers since 1992.

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at May 20, 2014 7:30 AM

Nice writing John. I couldn't have said it better. I commend you for following the advice given to Wormold: "Be lucid, but spare me the details".

The appropriate response to a gaping maw below an empty brain pan is a righteous hard punch in the face. Once their jaws are wired shut the foolishness will end.

Celebrate Assholes Get a Punch in the Face Day.

So says the chasmatician, so say we all.
H/T Mike J

Posted by: chasmatic at May 20, 2014 9:04 AM

One way out of this new fad would be like Rush said. Just say a " New Study Suggests " and add any number of bad things to it like New Study suggests wide open mouths turns people into racists or into Libertarians and the fad would soon stop.

Posted by: Kelvin at May 20, 2014 9:25 AM

As I drive to work at 7am each morning I wonder who all those women are talking to. It occurred to me that they are probably just talking to each other. Endlessly. Lamely. Now Christopher Taylor has explained this phenomena. Wonderful. I am not of the Body. To call me you get an answer machine connected to a phone that is connected to the wall by a wire. I might call you back. Maybe.

Posted by: Larry Geiger at May 20, 2014 10:40 AM

I do have to say that the blond girl on the right is really pretty.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at May 20, 2014 11:12 AM

How can you tell? She's all tonsils.

Posted by: Vermont Woodchuck at May 20, 2014 11:52 AM

Any smart young man knows these two would be great girlfriend material.

Yup...went there...you were thinking it too...

Posted by: tim at May 20, 2014 1:12 PM

Yes, tim, I certainly did, reflexively. :-)

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at May 20, 2014 2:22 PM

The rest of their faces do not follow the gaping maw. Like a marionette with the jaw controls broken.

Nothing sexy or even erotic about it. One day their faces are gonna freeze like that.

Posted by: chasmatic at May 20, 2014 9:29 PM

They're Venus fly traps because we know men are from Mars.

Posted by: Vermont Woodchuck at May 21, 2014 4:42 AM

Kind of like those ear piercings, tubes, and ya keep shoving bigger and bigger ones in to stretch 'em out. These frails musta used bigger and bigger objects to stretch their mouths open that far, heh heh. And then they gotta get teeth implants, they wind up with like forty teeth in their mouths to fill in all the gaps. They must sound like camels throwing up if they ever try talking. Kinda like ung ung ung noises. They are banned from apple-bobbing contests at Halloween bars.

Posted by: chasmatic at May 21, 2014 7:27 AM

Oh, I guarantee they try talking.

I think it's pretty much a lock that all those pictures of that chick with her mouth open are because she's venting the air in her head. Guys that think that makes for "good girlfriend material" are too young to realize they're gonna want to sleep sometime, and once her mouth isn't full it's gonna be too noisy.

Posted by: Rob De Witt at May 21, 2014 8:00 AM

Rob: my dad told me:" never lay down with a woman that has more troubles than you".

So I have often slept alone. I'm good with that.

Posted by: chasmatic at May 21, 2014 3:33 PM

chas,

Imagine how long it would have taken you to figure that out without the input of a father. And pity me.

Like you, I've taken a pass on many, many occasions, even during the time it was all free and I was trying to make up for (perceived) lost time. As I get older, the nutballs seem to find me irresistible, and I'm having to learn rudeness just to make 'em go away. Embarrassing, but true. Damn sure never happened when I was younger and interested.

I'll be 70 next Spring (DAMN!) and it's been since I was 50 since there have been any women at all. Never would have believed it, but there it is. My sympathy has been exhausted.

Posted by: Rob De Witt at May 21, 2014 4:01 PM

"I don't like to keep female animals. They're temperamental and neurotic at best, requiring a level of endless patience beyond my tolerance.

Handling moody bitches kills my mellow."

-- Yang No Yin @ Jaded Haven

Posted by: Wednesday Anon at May 21, 2014 6:48 PM

Doug, maybe you looking through the wrong end of the telescope. Jes' sayin'.

Posted by: chasmatic at May 21, 2014 9:17 PM

Well it's been going on for awhile, but I still say Toni Darling started it.

https://www.facebook.com/tonidarlingAZ/photos_stream

Regardless, I just can't stay mad at her.

Posted by: Morgan K Freeberg at May 24, 2014 5:51 AM

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