The Top 40

Words Women Use:

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine. (Refer back to #1 for the meaning of Fine.)

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of Nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you --do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong"; and for the woman's response to be, "nothing". (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of Nothing.)

Now I get it!!!

If only I had known these important definitions 30 years ago. I think you should publish these for the benefit of all men.

That 'hear what they think but in your voice' applies to a lot of people and not just women. College professors, for example. Judges, for another example.

Judges and college professors, however, have a way of passing out of your life and out of your immediate concern. Not women.

On another subject women wonder where all of the decent good men have gone, and why all that they can find are men who will tell them what they want to hear so long as these men can get women into bed and never call.

Unlike our president, I can spell R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Apparently, these women never learned to spell either.

Mikey,

Yowsah. I've got a younger (female) friend who was born in the '70s. Even though she's definitely intelligent and not the least kind of leftie, she delivered herself recently of the opinion that women were in control because they had "half the money and all the pussy."

My life was filled with all I could handle until I got bored with them, and my position was always that what's in my britches is the exact equal in value to what's in hers. I let my young lady friend in on that, and pointed out that several decades of her attitude had eventuated in the "men" she so often complains about.

Haven't heard from her for a few days....