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January 21, 2014

There's a rabid raccoon circling your livestock

You go to your gun safe and enter your sixty-digit code, press the fingerprint-verification pad,
put your eye to the retina reader, wait for the Instant Background Check, open the safe and get out the .22 single shot rifle, unlock the child safety lock and remove it, install the bolt in the rifle, take two rounds of ammo from your legal nine round supply, chamber the legal maximum of one round, enter the serial numbers of both rounds and their removal time on your web-based log. You close the gun safe, reactivate all the security and run out the door. You dispatch said rabid raccoon. He was moving slow. - - ol remus and the woodpile report

Posted by gerardvanderleun at January 21, 2014 3:13 PM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

I'm sorry, but did you file the necessary paperwork for a raccoon hunting permit? No? Well, I hope you at least filled out the environmental impact study on removing indigenous wildlife. And when is the hazardous material clean-up crew coming to remove the lead from the bullet that you so cavalierly fired?

Posted by: Mumblix Grumph at January 21, 2014 3:33 PM

Wait until he gets a a letter from OSHA warning him on the "dangers of running with a firearm."

Posted by: Pappy at January 21, 2014 5:38 PM

Did he follow "shoot and release".

Posted by: tripletap at January 21, 2014 6:40 PM

Just a guess mind you but I believe it will blow all apart before it gets to that point. I mean, you can't run 1000 trillion worth of debt indefinitely.
In the meantime we keep 3" magnums at each door and an assortment of others scattered about the area, all very discreet of course.

Posted by: ghostsniper at January 21, 2014 6:42 PM

Since you removed TWO rounds, you might want to use the other one on the bunghole what thunk up all those rules.

Posted by: Peccable at January 22, 2014 4:38 AM

Shoot, shovel and shut up.

Posted by: BillH at January 22, 2014 7:52 AM

DANG. That describes the rules that the insolent fucks in DC came up with in response to the SCOTUS decision upholding full gun rights in DC.

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at January 22, 2014 9:19 AM

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