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January 3, 2013

The Arguments for Armageddon Continue to Add Up [Bumped]

aahefner.jpg
Projectile vomiting outbreak sweeps nation -- Hugh Hefner, 86, marries 26-year-old Playboy bunny Crystal Harris
“Crystal & I married on New Year’s Eve in the Mansion with Keith as my Best Man. Love that girl!,” Hefner tweeted New Year’s Day.
[NB: Hefner now fully set up for "death on the downstroke." Obit headline: "He Came and He Went."]

Posted by gerardvanderleun at January 3, 2013 10:22 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

When will he have the good grace to discorporate?

Posted by: Fat Man at January 2, 2013 10:38 AM

My retinas disconnected from my eyeballs after reading that thing which Kathy Gargoyle Griffin did to that albino queer...

Posted by: Jewel at January 2, 2013 11:37 AM

Why Miss Jewel, how uncharitable......

Muzz Griffin has, after all, answered once and for all the musical question "What is a fag hag, Mommy?" Generations of children will never again have to express their confusion about that issue.

Posted by: Rob De Witt at January 2, 2013 11:46 AM

We know Hef does Viagra, but what do his serial wives take in order to psychologically survive "conjoining" with him?

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at January 2, 2013 12:48 PM

Don, I will give you a hint, it is green and in large enough amounts makes any man attractive.

Posted by: Potsie at January 2, 2013 1:10 PM

Absinthe.

Posted by: mushroom at January 2, 2013 1:15 PM

We hope. Or mushrooms, of the toadstool variety.

Posted by: Jewel at January 2, 2013 1:17 PM

That said, she is probably in line to become the next Anna Nicole.

Posted by: Fat Man at January 2, 2013 2:19 PM

Don Rodrigo--an IV drip in her arm and an attending anaesthesiologist.

Posted by: Mike James at January 2, 2013 3:37 PM

If he was going to experience "death on the downstroke" he'd have been gone long before the latest Mrs. Hef was born. Perhaps he's equipped with a multi-ported pump that keeps everything spurting, so to speak.


And of course, this Mrs. is a stock model overcooked unit that never knows what hit her until the National Enquirer tells her so. Dead, alive, just so the Platinum Cards still work.


Good to know the Playboy Mansion will be distracting the proles from Obama's obscenities for a little bit longer.

Posted by: raincityjazz at January 2, 2013 7:51 PM

I'm sure the o.g. made her sign a prenup. She gets the airbrushing equipment, a collection of rare Mayan apocalypse studded dildoes and the Victoria's Secret funeral collection. His daughter Christie gets all the cheese.

Posted by: bill at January 3, 2013 11:51 AM

According to the fright face, giving a lip dip to the flit is good for a turn on Letterman.

Posted by: Ed G. Mann at January 3, 2013 4:46 PM