The Top 40

This woman has no idea what is good for you. And Gerard, that plate of food is truly hideous. This is a much better picture which I made for tonight's dinner:

Spaghetti Bolognese

2 stalks diced celery
1 diced onion
2 diced carrots
3 cloves garlic, minced finely
1 small can tomato paste
1 large can whole tomatoes.
1 cup pinot grigiot
1/2 lb. each ground beef, pork and veal
A few tablespoons of chopped parsley.
1/2 cup whole milk or half and half
Olive oil, bread, pesto sauce, salt and pepper
1 lb. thin spaghetti.

Brown the meat in small bits and remove from the pan to a paper towel. Add vegetables and a little olive oil and saute til softened. Add tomato paste and mix into the vegetables thoroughly. Add wine and tomatoes. Using an electric submersible mixer, puree vegetables until they are pulpy but not mashed completely. Add the meat back to the sauce and let cook for about a half hour.
Make sure you are wearing a low cut shirt, which will allow more sauce to spatter on your bare skin, a shirt that you don't mind getting sauce on. One of your husband's preferably. If sauce should spatter you on your breasts, make sure your husband is standing by with a chunk of bread to clean up the spatter.
Once he has cleaned up the sauce from your breasts, allow him to grope you vigorously there while plunging his nose into the nape of your neck and kissing it furiously. Make sure your children are watching.
Boil the noodles al dente, drain, and put them in a separate bowl. Your husband really really hates it when you put the noodles in the sauce, even though it's the proper way to do it.
Stir the milk into the sauce and add the parsley.

Make the children set the table, slice the bread and put the food on.
Be thankful for all things and enjoy your meal and the good company.

Jewel, that sounds like pasta putanesca.

I forgot to add the pepper and the olives. Damn.

Jewel, for a pasta with no crushed red pepper flakes, it sounds mighty hot!

What on earth are you having for desert?

We had watermelon sherbet floats: Fresca and watermelon sherbet. Simple, foamy, delicious and cold.

Fresh and Healthy. Is that anything like Hope and Change?

I prefer to think of it as "Hope for Seconds", if we have enough for leftovers.

Michelle Antoinette had a 1500+ calorie burger lunch the other day.

I see no problem with this. That ass of hers requires its own substantial caloric intake, along with its own Zip code, appointments secretary and its own plane.

She has begun popping up on Disney Channel encouraging kids to grow their own vegies. Isn't that cute? You should hear the involuntary grunts and groans that can be heard when the First Squatch suddenly appears on our screen, it being quite a horrifying shock and all. Disney really should preface her appearance with a government sponsored emergency alert signal of some sort. And a BULL SHIT alert signal so kids know when they are being conned, which is anytime an Obama speaks.

Don Rodrigo:

Thank you. You made my day.

And so say we all.

Jewel, Spaghetti bolognese is one of my favorite pasta dishes. I'll be trying your variation soon and will report back.

However, I shall skip the step where your husband mops the sauce off my breasts and the ensuing shenanigans if you don't mind. I'm sure he has better things to do.

Thank you Cilla, and RedCarolina made my day ("First Squatch?" Brilliant.), and I must try Jewel's recipe.

Seriously, Gerard, you need a woman to do this for you, because you need, need, need to mop, fondle and engage in nape sampling. It's not Italian cuisine, otherwise.