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July 13, 2011

A Man With A Plan: "Maintained by feeding and waste tubes, breathing and suctioning machines. No, thank you. I hate being a drag. I don’t think I’ll stick around for the back half of Lou."

manwithplan.jpg

I respect the wishes of people who want to live as long as they can.
But I would like the same respect for those of us who decide — rationally — not to. I’ve done my homework. I have a plan. If I get pneumonia, I’ll let it snuff me out. If not, there are those other ways. I just have to act while my hands still work: the gun, narcotics, sharp blades, a plastic bag, a fast car, over-the-counter drugs, oleander tea (the polite Southern way), carbon monoxide, even helium. That would give me a really funny voice at the end. -- The Good Short Life With A.L.S.

UPDATE:Bumped because AD Commenter Maureen adds this insightful poem:

I am Ozymandias, King of Kings,
And suffering is for peasants and teenagers
Too stupid to hang themselves early
And get it all over with.
I do not require boot camp for my soul,
Because I am perfect
And so I kill myself
Before the DI can make me sweat
Or make me a hero.

Yes, I know best of all, and that is why
I'm so determined there be no more I.

Posted by Vanderleun at July 13, 2011 2:25 PM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

Razors pain you;
rivers are damp;
acids stain you;
and drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
nooses give;
gas smells awful;
you might as well live.

Dorothy Parker

Posted by: B....... at July 12, 2011 11:57 PM

Fear not. If your health expenses exceed a few bucks,
President Valdemort's Death Panels will tend to you.

Posted by: GaGator at July 13, 2011 9:12 AM

P.S. to "B"...

My favorite Parkerism was the revelation that Dottie named her
pet canary "Onan", because he spilled his seed upon the ground.

Selah...

Posted by: GaGator at July 13, 2011 9:16 AM

I am Ozymandias, King of Kings,
And suffering is for peasants and teenagers
Too stupid to hang themselves early
And get it all over with.
I do not require boot camp for my soul,
Because I am perfect
And so I kill myself
Before the DI can make me sweat
Or make me a hero.

Yes, I know best of all, and that is why
I'm so determined there be no more I.

Posted by: Maureen at July 13, 2011 1:00 PM

It is the road all runners come.

Posted by: Casca at July 13, 2011 3:14 PM

You're a sucker for an Obymandias parody, Gerard. That's all there is to it

Posted by: Callmelennie at July 13, 2011 3:31 PM

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