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May 12, 2011

Big Oil to US Congress: FU!

“As president and CEO of Porkaloin Oil, I have news for you: I don’t need you.

I'm using this occasion to announce that Porkaloin Oil is shutting down all USA operations beginning with our refineries, which stopped accepting oil a week ago. Our world headquarters will move from Houston to Hong Kong. Only a few of our 27,000 employees will move there. Don't worry, everyone gets a year's salary as severance. As for the 10,000 gas stations, we will pay each franchisee $100,000. We sold what few oil wells we have in the USA to Exxon for a buck.

"All in all, this move will cost us a ten billion bucks, maybe twenty. I wrote the number down somewhere in my papers but it does not matter. Whatever the figure is, it is worth it to tell you all to go to hell. We produce 3% of the world's oil. We can sell it anywhere. I chose China."
-- What Big Oil should say ォ Don Surber

Posted by Vanderleun at May 12, 2011 3:50 PM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

I wish they would. But they won't. How would they EVER face the Senators over cocktails later in the evening?

M

Posted by: Mark Alger at May 13, 2011 5:58 AM

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