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November 12, 2010

Obama $50B Roads Stimulus Saves Jobs, Planet

(2010-09-06) — Buoyed by the success of his other stimulus programs in turning around the once-moribund U.S. economy, President Barack Obama announced today a $50 billion plan to fix up 150,000 miles of highway in order to save jobs and the environment.

The man destined to go down in history as the first ‘green’ president said today he would increase taxes on oil companies to pay for the road construction.

“This stimulus initiative,” the president said, “will put hundreds of collective-bargaining units back on the public payroll, while taking thousands of cars off of the road, due to construction road closings and the higher price of fuel. The end result: more jobs, less global warming. It’s a win-win.”

Due to the anticipated public reception of the Obama roads stimulus, the White House will reportedly announce next week a plan to increase taxes on airline tickets to fund a massive project to ‘re-fluff the clouds’, employing tens of thousands of unionized fluffers. -- Scrappleface

Posted by Vanderleun at November 12, 2010 11:24 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.