The Top 40

Oh, dear sweet mother lode of candy! You know, Gerard, in some countries, you are not allowed to just name your kid anything...Argentina comes to mind, maybe the only sensible law they have on the books there. But this woman is forever stuck in the fantasy land of academia, she'll never get to be president of the land with a name like that...oh, wait...never mind, said Emily Litella.

Oh, former proofreader that I am don't//have, sir in teh hedd lign.

And Frito Pendajo is an attorney (from Idiocracy). Is this for real? I feel like Rip Van Winkle waking up on the Bizarro planet earth.

Well, now. For the first time in my life I feel like I got off easy when my parents named me Gypsy Dawn Montgomery.

Is this what it felt in the twilight years of the Roman Empire?

Nothing tops Armand Hammer. Daddy wasn't just kidding either.

I recall a few years back when I was working in OB, a woman wanted to name her baby "meconium." The nurses were flabbergasted and tried to talk her out of it for the sake of her daughter. They did not succeed. I agree with Mike Lief.

I had a girl friend who named her daughter Tessica...I'm sure she was never ridiculed for THAT name.

Not sure that any of this is better than what a friend of mine ran across some years back. He was a paramedic. One day, he was taking care of an injured child (girl) when he asked the mother the girl's name. Feh-mah-lay (phonetic) was the reply. How is that spelled, my friend asked. F-e-m-a-l-e, was the answer. Unusual name, said my friend. How did you choose it? I didn't, the hospital did, was the reply. Apparently, mom was such an ignoramus that she never bothered to name her daughter, and the hospital finally just entered "female" on the birth certificate instead of a real first name. Where mom came up with the pseudo-fancy pronunciation is anybody's guess.

One recalls Ima Hogg, the "First Lady of Texas",
and the most respected woman in Texas until her
passing in 1975. (wiki it)
.

You can't solely blame the hippie parents...this gal has had plenty of years to change her name, so that ought to tell you something about where she comes from.

How 'bout Ledasha, spelled Le-a!?

Robert, I bet she was armed, too. As for me, I'd like to open my own bakery and call it, "La Douche Baguette

Robert: She also had a sister named Ura Hog. I believe her parents had a very strange sense of humor. Anyway, Ms. Ima Hog was quite a stunner.

Ms Gypsy, I love your name.

I knew some hipsters who named their daughter Psyche. I don't know if they had any other kids and came up with Psycho, Id or Chemical Imbalance.

Of course there was the Daly family who named their son I.P. and the Chinese family named Low who called their boy Won Hung.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the Tableau: Our next debutante --- Courvoisier Vagisil Jones."

Don't forget her twin sister Chlamydia Syphilis Jones, either!

There was a news item a few years ago about someone who named her daughter Latrina.

Actually, Bill, Psyche was a lovely lady in Greek mythology -- Eros' main squeeze, in fact.

Read all about it in 'The Golden Ass'
.

Cilla, thank you :) When I was ten I used to fantasize about changing my name to Elizabeth, but I'm reconciled to my given name now. Even though it earns me plenty of baffled looks and "What was your mother thinking?" when I travel in Europe.

My niece and her husband named their daughter Harper Mason using the excuse that the niece's favorite author was Harper Lee and they enjoyed the family vacation place at Mason Lake. I told her that Harper will be glad in future years that her mother's favorite author wasn't Solzhenitsyn.

My mother had a child her her elementary school classroom named LaTrene (pronounced la treen);

Good game. Here are my contributions:

o-RANJ-elo from Orange Jello

leh-MAJ-elo from Lime Jello

These from my BIL the doctor in Toledo.

Crystal Chanda Lear from my cousin who went to high school with her.

And my BF from engineering school (you know I love you Rosi!), Rosi Fallis (pronounced rosie phallus). Our very proper electronics prof refused to pronounce her name "correctly" when he took attendance. He always said Fall-is. You'll be relieved to know Rosi married and happily took her husband's very boring name. Not quite Smith or Jones, but way better than where she started.

Do I hear cries of "uncle" all around?

Anyone notice a pattern here? Almost 100% girls' names. It seems cruel and denigrating, yet where are the feminoids when you need them to counsel their sisteren?

Crystal Chanda Lear is awesome! At least she can conceal her middle name. Friend of a friend went by Sandy Beach (Miss). I heard Shanaynay somewhere and it has a sound that I like for no conceivable reason.

You must admit Marijuana looks to be a sweet lady, so perhaps her parents were just stoned at the time vs. full-on bums.

Horangelo and Limongello are both legitimate Italian names (sometimes used by Spanish families also). They don't have a darned thing to do with Jell-O of any flavor whatsoever.

Robert, What is the "Golden Ass", an autobiography of Marijuana's father? I wonder what her brother, Blunt Nehi Sawyer thinks about things.

^^
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Ass :)
.

Well, Hannon, she sure don't look like a Mary Jane, now, do she?

Jewel- Yes, I agree, but she don't look like no Pepsi, neither.

"Blunt Nehi Sawyer" is outta the park!

Do her close and personal friends call her 'Roach', you s'pose? Probably not to her face.

She must have to weed through her friends carefully. The abuse has to be chronic.

This is one of the reasons why we gave our daughters classic, timeless names.

People tell us how beautiful the girls - and their names -are. And we are the happier because of it.

Ours, too: Writer's names, all: Emily, Julia, Mary and Rachel.

Mine are called Eleanor and Isabel. Simple. Classic. Timeless.

No one will ever taunt them with their names at school!

Just wanted to mention that I actually graduated from UW-Whitewater. They have an excellent business school there.

They also have a highly-regarded teaching school, but it's mostly for folks who don't have the GPA to make it into the business school.

Please take note of Mary's degrees and draw your own conclusions.