The Top 40

I will see your ante and raise you this one:

"Do These Jeans Make My Diaper Look Big? As Skinny Jeans Shrink to Baby Size, Parents Pay Up, Retailers Cheer, Everyone Else Worries What's Next" by By Elizabeth Holmes in The Wall Street Journal on 12 Aug. 2010 at p D1

"The idea of shimmying into a pair of skinny jeans makes many women cringe. Now imagine squeezing them up over a diaper.

"Ava Lane, a smiley two-year-old who lives in Deland, Fla., has four pairs of skinny jeans. She received the first pair as a gift, says mom Christina Lane, who thought they looked so cute she bought more."

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704901104575423220608807714.html

Floods are in?

How about suspenders with belts, bowties, pocket protectors and taped hornrimmed glasses?

Mr. Vanderleun: You bring the flamethrower and I'll give the atomic wedgies and shove them inside the lockers.

The shoes sound the off note. The rolled cuffs go with bare feet, a straw hat, and a bamboo fishing pole. Shouldn't cost more than $50 from any decent used clothing store. Oh, and don't forget to rub some dirt on the feet, there's no bigger faux fashion statement than clean bare feet.

First, the model should learn to tie shoes. Second, get ready for major blisters on those unsocked feet. Third, mosquitoes are going to love those bare ankles this time of year. Lastly, get some sun on those pasty white legs!

Actually, I approve of this development:

"Discovering Hats, a New Generation Brims With Anxiety Over Etiquette: Old Rules Flummox Young Hipsters; 'I'm Wearing an $80 Fedora!'" By Ray A. Smith in The Wall Street Journal, on 11 AUG 2010 at page A1

Inspired by designer runway shows, celebrities such as Justin Timberlake and even, in some cases, old pictures of Frank Sinatra, more young men are going mad for hats. But the hat renaissance is creating a quandary for a generation of men and boys who grew up without learning hat-wearing etiquette from their fathers. Many are making up their own rules about when and where to take them off.

The trend may be old hat to hipsters in areas like Williamsburg, Brooklyn, who started wearing fedoras, rounded derby hats and, in warmer weather, straw hats, more than two years ago. But now hats are starting to catch on among some men in suburbs, the Midwest and beyond. Gap and J. Crew say they have witnessed strong hat sales this spring and summer while department stores like Barneys New York have been expanding their assortments after years of general indifference to hats. Sales of designer-brand "blocked" hats such as fedoras and straw hats in particular "are definitely robust," says Jay Bell, a vice president at Barneys.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB20001424052748703748904575411874109848424.html

As a no-hat kind of guy ever since I routinely lost hats and caps in grade school, I mourn the apparent passing of one clothing trend I actually was in sync with for a while.

WTF is that look? Huck Finn goes to Wall St.? Perhaps the only fashion crime worse than wearing wingtips, black socks and bermuda shorts,(yes, my father was guilty, and I've come damn close on certain Sundays) is wearing wingtips with no socks and rolled up pants. Off to the eclectic chair!

As my son would say:

"OK, that's really gay"

Wearing wing-tips without socks, I'd say a fair amount of masochist as well.

Fat Man:
I saw that WSJ hat article.

Many are making up their own rules about when and where to take them off.

Translation: "I'm special. Rules are for losers."

Certainly, straw boaters! Damn the '90's passed me by twice. Wingtips, black socks and shorts? You'll look like a Jewish lawyer, whose wife told him to "loosen up. But the white legs fit right in.

Not necessary to flamethrower the "voice of the neuter" designers and models, Gerard. As you noted in a nearby posting, gay marriage will gum them all up in divorce court, stealing their time, money, and cool. But even if they don't all sink under the burdens of hipsterdom, who cares? They don't reproduce, we conservatives do, and our men know how - and when - to wear hats.

Urkel called. He wants his pants back.