The Top 40

Bleaching my graying hair would NOT help at all, and tanning of any sort would turn me lobster red, anyway. Fake tans produce an orange with pink undertones...which is not a legitimate skin color.
Putting all that gook on my face will turn me into such a ghastly horror show, that infants will accuse me of trying to sacrifice them to Satan and killing the Easter Bunny, too. On the other hand, she looks too much like the irksome middle child....and the irksome middle child is not ugly, by a long shot. With the proper misapplication of face paint and hair dye...she's a natural honey blonde, wanting to go swedish all the way. She already looks like the accomplished person of beauty stalking somebody's night.

It's amazing what makeup and hair can do to a person.

I'd recommend a pair of paper bags. (in case one breaks, avoid plastic unless you are terminally ugly) Inexpensive, actually free at the local food store for a hip and recyclable makeover.
Non toxic and available in different sizes for the dimensionally challenged. Come in one non-racist color.

Sunshine is definately one ugly woman when my eyes are closed.

If I plug my ears... hmmm... not bad... needs a comb in the beginning of the video...