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May 10, 2010

Profiles in Hybridization: Chaz Bono Becomes First Legal Hollywood-American

chazbonopride.jpg
“Before I hit puberty, I always walked around with my shirt off. I can finally do that again—and it’s awesome!”


As a Hollywood-American, Chaz has got it all: Single mom, absent father, a distinguished history of rehab, cats and tats, dogs and dick!
People Magazine just reported recently that Chastity Bono, the only daughter of the late Sonny Bono and Cher, has been granted a gender and name change from a judge in Santa Monica, California. The legal change comes during Chastity’s sex-change transition to male, which started over a year ago, after his/her 40th birthday. “Chaz” came out as a lesbian in 1995. The sex-reassignment procedure is actually a process which takes place over a roughly 5 year span. Chaz had her breasts removed last year, but isn’t talking about what’s “down there,” saying that she/he’s “keeping my privates private.” Chaz also has been taking testosterone. Chaz currently lives with girlfriend Jennifer Elia, 34, along with their 2 dogs and 4 cats. -- Chaz Bono Becomes A Man, Legally

Posted by Vanderleun at May 10, 2010 3:47 PM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

Ugly as a woman, hideous as a man....This blob of flesh can't win either way. Here's a thought, Chaz...save some food for the rest of the fuckin' planet.

Posted by: Blastineau at May 10, 2010 4:46 PM

Too bad Chaz changed sexes....she and Elena Kagan would have made a good couple....ugly as sin, but still a good couple.

Posted by: Anonymous at May 10, 2010 4:54 PM

He looks like some magnificent beast, sniffing the air, trying to decide if the hunter has found him.

He reacts! He has caught the scent of the hunter! He waddles towards the thicket of the coffee bar/health club.

The hunter slips the hounds of paparrazzi and they work to herd him from the private areas where he may find cover and into the more open areas by the barrista.

He turns, knowing his doom. His sweaty jowls move in and out as he blows air into his starved lungs, behind the mirrored sunglasses his eye roll, looking for the elusive escape. He charges.

The hunter back-peddles and turns, firing away as his prey falls senseless on the floor of the coffee bar, his massive blubber rippling in the glare of the flashes, bringing to mind the hellish glare on the decks of a whaler as another noble beast is rendered down to its essentials.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at May 10, 2010 5:42 PM

Beyond the call, Mikey. But we're glad of it anyway.

Posted by: vanderleun at May 10, 2010 6:56 PM

The meat goes on.

Posted by: Gagdad Bob at May 10, 2010 8:56 PM

Unman. Pusstosterone. Vagicide.

Posted by: Jewel at May 10, 2010 10:00 PM

Fire the fuckin' harpoon!

Posted by: Vermont Woodchuck at May 11, 2010 4:04 AM

A sorry sight but as long as I ain't payin for it and she/he/it don't come anywhere near me, I don't give a rat's ass!
Its the dykes I have to pay for, i.e. Hillary, Reno & Napolitano that piss me off!!!

Posted by: Shooter1001 at May 11, 2010 8:43 AM

I wonder if cases like this give the lie to the whole "tattoos = genetic fitness" meme that's been going around lately?

Posted by: Julie at May 11, 2010 8:53 AM

Unfortunately, it cannot be unseen.

Posted by: Fat Man at May 11, 2010 9:04 AM

EEEEEEWWWWWWW ! ! ! ! !

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at May 11, 2010 10:34 AM

America is a wonderful country! Where else can a cute little girl grow up to become a fat ugly guy?

Posted by: Rich Fader at May 11, 2010 11:43 AM

That's the perfect rotating title, RF.

Posted by: Jewel at May 11, 2010 1:00 PM

Does this mean that the 60s are finally over, or that they're just getting cranked up?

Posted by: rickl at May 11, 2010 4:51 PM

Gerard: Yeah, I agree - what I wrote was beyond the pale. I try to keep some decorum in my speech and writing. And I went for the easy target, and failed my own standards.

I offer my defense - I am a human. I offer my pledge - I will strive to be better.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at May 11, 2010 6:04 PM

I'd be happy to find a good home for the kittehs-- they deserve better.

Posted by: Connecticut Yankee at May 11, 2010 6:09 PM

Wait a minute - I do not want to wimp out here.

Chaz Bono - please accept my apologies. What I wrote was rude and cruel, and I should not have done that. I do not know you - I just cast off a flippant comment on a blog because I could. I was raised better, and that comment would embarass my parents as it would - and does - embarass me.

I am sorry I wrote that. And I mean it.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at May 11, 2010 6:12 PM

WHACK! SLAP! QUIT GROVELING!

I meant "Beyond the call of duty and completely sponge worthy."

If you pull back even an inch from the edge I will bitch-slap you stupid with Chaz Bono's dick. And I mean it.

Posted by: vanderleun at May 11, 2010 8:08 PM

From the picture alone, this seems like a sad turn of events. Possibly Chaz is a better person, can't imagine it, but possibly.

Posted by: Reb at May 12, 2010 7:51 AM

How can it have bigger tits as a man than as a woman?

Posted by: Blastineau at May 12, 2010 12:53 PM

Penis envy gone awry.

Posted by: Eric at May 12, 2010 6:35 PM

I was grovelling? Hmmm. Not good*.

(*I will have to drink beer from smaller containers, I think.)

I still think I picked an easy target - too easy. And I don't even know this person - even knew he/she/whatever even existed. I will try to keep my scorn for those who really deserve it, those who try to lecture me and everything in my life - not sad persons like this one who really don't try to bother me at all.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at May 13, 2010 7:41 AM

umm - what does 'sponge worthy' mean any way? I was just trying to do a little early Hemingway on it all.

Looked it up. It means 'something that is worthy to expend limited resources on'.

If my first comment was 'spongeworthy' then - darn...maybe I need to drink more. Commenting while drinking; I usually think that I have gone way wrong, and am a little contrite (or a hell of a lot of contrite) when I finally get back to that thread.

I try to be polite - really, I do.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at May 13, 2010 7:18 PM

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