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March 10, 2010

Vajazzling: You don't want to know.

"After my Brazilian bikini wax, Alicia affixed the flair right above my vagina.
It came in temporary tattoo form, which Alicia placed on me after first rinsing the area with rubbing alcohol. (This didn't hurt although Alicia told me some women found it painful.) She used a tongue depressor to push down on the crystals (that hurt) and then I was all set. Completely Bare guarantees that the flair will stay on for five days, so I was instructed to return if any fell off during that time frame. I was also told not to scrub the area while I was in the shower or with a towel afterward, as that would make the crystals come off." -- I Vajazzled And I Liked It

Next step down the spiral staircase of our decline? Clitter!

Posted by Vanderleun at March 10, 2010 1:50 PM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Posted by: Fat Man at March 10, 2010 3:31 PM

Oh, good grief. It's a trend now?

Posted by: Rich Fader at March 10, 2010 3:39 PM

I miss bush.

Posted by: Rob De Witt at March 10, 2010 5:20 PM

What do you mean, exactly by that, Rob?

Posted by: Jewel at March 10, 2010 9:57 PM

a jewel collection?! REALLY? Gads. I thought the jokes were over when I was a teenager, but it starts, it starts again.

Posted by: Jewel at March 10, 2010 10:00 PM

The link to vajazzled tries to install spyware on my computer. It might be because I am using a lousy browser, but you might want to remove the link, nonetheless.

Posted by: Jewel at March 10, 2010 10:05 PM

No, no, it's a plot by the Puritans to stop sex. What male, ready for action, would want to get near such glitter, fearing that while grinding away, the crystals get jammed into what D.H. Lawrence called the softer parts? With luck, the birth rate in the blue states will drop, and the nation may get a second chance...

I wish they would poll these ninnies and see how many are cooing for The Won's health care, because they think it's a swell way to get the rest of us to pay for their peacock idiocy.

Posted by: Gregory Koster at March 11, 2010 1:40 AM

This is further evidence that there is waaaay too much money floating around and not nearly enough sense.

If my girl friend showed up with that nonsense, I'd throw her out naked and all. Her boyfriend sounds like a typical blue metrosexual beta pleaser who deserves to have glitter jammed into his softer parts.

I'm married so none of this really matters to me, but I do look forward to the return of free grown bush.

Posted by: phil g at March 11, 2010 7:39 AM

Sounds a little rough for those that venture.

Look - just be clean - is that too much to ask?

(And I suppose that question is answered with a 'yes'.)

Posted by: Mikey NTH at March 11, 2010 7:20 PM

If you gotta put jewels on it to get your boyfriend to pay attention to it/you, then YOU NEED A NEW BOYFRIEND.

Posted by: WWWebb at March 12, 2010 8:29 AM

Jewel said: The link to vajazzled tries to install spyware on my computer. It might be because I am using a lousy browser, but you might want to remove the link, nonetheless.

What I really want to know is whether your computer or yourself got CRYSTALS installed when you clicked on the link.

Posted by: WWWebb at March 12, 2010 9:01 AM

Personally, I'd just like to welcome our new sparkly overlords.

Posted by: monkeyfan at March 12, 2010 2:45 PM

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