The Top 40

It is always proper to blame others, save, in the case of He Who Smellt it is He Who Dealt it.

Mother Gaia is, according to people who fret about this kind of thing, apparently unable to save herself. I reject that notion. I feel that Mother Gaia simply doesn't have the proper motivation to save herself. Until we can figure out how to properly do a full-scale friends'n'family intervention on our beloved anthropomorphized planet we'll have to settle for utilizing a more general kind of "tough love," something that will confront Mom, make her want to put down the bon-bons, suck down some Geritol and get back to work doing whatever she needs to do to save herself. From pollution or bad weather or whatever shit's annoying Al Gore this year.

In this context, farting is just another way of helping, not of hurting, our planet. So toot on, people! Rip one for Mother Gaia, and let the flatulant chorus swell.

Because Mother needs me, I'm going to Taco bell right now.

This is why I invented the Gas Bag that collects the gas so it can be brought to the local recycling station, burned and helps produce the electricity required to sustain Al Gore's insatiable energy needs at his large abode.

"Is my daughter really right?"

No, I'd say she is really, really far off the left end of the scale actually. That being said, you might point out to her that what is coming out of your ass is no worse than the horseshit coming out of her mouth.

So perceptive. The Obama girls are growing up before our eyes.

"That being said, you might point out to her that what is coming out of your ass is no worse than the horseshit coming out of her mouth."

...Or for that matter, the unfortunate little fart monologue that came out of her vagina those many years ago.

That methane in that gas does, the rest of it is mostly harmless.

But lest you think that the methane is going to be a permanent problem, by aware that way up in the stratosphere methane is broken down by sunlight into water vapor and carbon dioxide. Both greenhouse gases, nowhere near as effective as methane.

BTW, most of the heating is because of water vapor; more than carbon dioxide and methane combined. But, as the atmosphere gets warmer the more water vapor it can hold. This is why we refer to "relative humidity". So by adding carbon dioxide or methane to the atmosphere the subsequent warming means the atmosphere can hold more water vapor, and that heats up the air even more. It also means more extreme weather and more muggy days during summer. Not to mention more snow in higher elevations where snow tended to be sparse originally. Snow enough to not only negate the melting, but actually cause a glacial to grow where it wasn't before. At least until rising temperatures cause it to melt faster anyway.

And here you thought the matter was a simple one, now didn't you? :)