Many millennials like to fool themselves about their elders by thinking that older folks “just don’t get it” when it comes to current fashions and trends among the pampered denizens of “the really not great at all generation.” They’re dead wrong about this and, indeed, so dead wrong in so many ways that many millennials may end up both wrong and dead before their time. I’m an elder and I know the difference between a lost generation and a stupid generation. For millennials think the latter. They’re not so much lost as too stupid to find their commodious asses with both hands. As usual, when it comes to the young and stupid, fashion is a dead giveaway to their lack of functioning neural circuits in their atrophied deep-fried tofu brains.
- It could not have escaped anyone’s notice that smartphones are expensive be they iPhones from Crapple or Android phones. Regardless of all the sweet and confusing comeons you pay a lot for your phone and even more if you lose it. Right? Right. And yet endless hordes of numale/female/gaymale/transmale morons en masse seem to think that the right place to carry a $500+ accessory is sticking halfway out of your very tight jean ass pocket. These brain-bleached bozos seem to think that this little fashion foible is NOT a walking invitation to pluck-pocket the phone. Seems to me that a swift and industrious pluckpocket could harvest a half-dozen phones in a halfternoon. It probably doesn’t occur to the plucked-pocket packer until after their phone is down the road and they are on the hook to buy another. At which point the 1984 group thinking millennials will stuff their new phone right back into the pocket previously pillaged.
- Millennials have a lot of fashion accessories jammed into various holes in their bodies to keep up with the relentless pressure to become, not more attractive to others, but more and more grotesque. All our cities and towns are now overrun with Etch-A-Sketch savages who think they are being edgy and original by sporting vast acres of third rate or jailhouse tattoos on their corpulent bodies and then forcing others to observes their deep and abiding hideousness. But tats only scratch the surface. Going deeper than a surface scratch we now have to endure the clanking collections of body piercings; bones in the nose, corks the size of saucers in the ears, nipple rings, scrotum bells, and worse clanking and clanging away down below as the “individualists” (aka Marching Morons) schlump along the aisles of your nearest Walmart or crack smoking gallery (aka Walmart restrooms). The latest little accessories in this Museum of Ugly are the “Nose Boogers.” At least, nose boogers are what I call them. These bits of “body jewelry” are tiny little spheres of silver of black that are placed just inside the nostrils in such a configuration that at first glance they seem to be dangling spherical boogers. While reminding others that your nose contains the crusts and detritus of dust caught in the mucus doesn’t strike me as a turn on it obviously gets the millennials purrbox pumping. The moment the bodymod movement comes up with magnet implants in the penis is going to give a whole new meaning to the term “nosejob.”
It could be that I’m just so old that I don’t see the sanity or beauty in these items since they are now everywhere. On the other hand, it could be that the first piercing a millennial gets is a burst from a nail gun right in the center of the forehead on the first day of school.