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Number One with a Bullet

He was in Chicago lootin’ stores at night
Britches hangin’ off of his behind
But the day that he didn’t loot no more
Was the day he walked in Jimmy’s Hardware Store

You see Jimmy did two tours in Iraq
He closed the store but he slept there in the back
So when a brick came through his windowpane
Jimmy grabbed a two by four and then he sang

It’s time to get your ass kicked son your lootin’ days are through
‘Cause I done fought Al-Qaeda, it won’t be that tough with you
He broke his nose and whooped him like a dog and made it last
Singin’ This is the day I whooped a looters ass

Well the looter ran crying and called the cops
Jimmy laughed so hard he couldn’t stop
He said Let me know when they show up
‘Cause there’s a long wait time for helpin’ thugs

It’s time to get your ass kicked son your lootin’ days are through
‘Cause I done fought Al-Qaeda, it won’t be that tough with you
He broke his nose and whooped him like a dog and made it last
Singin’ This is the day I whooped a looters ass

The looter tried to call his friends
But no one would showed up
And to this day that hardware store’s
Downtown and stays untouched

He was in Chicago lootin’ stores at night
Britches hangin’ off of his behind
But the day that he didn’t loot no more
Was the day he walked in Jimmy’s Hardware Store

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