March 26, 2009

Futt the Wuck? Enviros Go Stark, Staring Nucking Futz!


To retain my last rotting shred of faith in humanity, I'm praying, praying, this is the ultimate send up of the Nucking Envirofutz: Life vests for polar bears on melting ice

As the climate crisis mounts and Arctic icebergs slip away, polar bears are suffering starvation, population declines, and drowning as they must swim further and further to find food. Seeking to raise awareness for the endangered species' plight, ADDI Concepts has taken wildlife preservation literally by designing a life-vest for displaced polar bears struggling to stay afloat as their homes sink into the sea.
It almost certainly is.... but... if it is not, I will pay real, real folding money to underwrite a boatload of greenies to haul on up to the Arctic, and be the first to strap one of these on a polar bear. They will only be required to wear a pair of muck-lucks made out of fresh killed baby seals.

I get world video rights because this is going to be bigger than Bum Fights and Stealth Lesbians Gone Wild put together.

Update: Whew, that was a close one. Just a concept by two frail metrosexuals from Sweden yclept as--> ADDI - Concepts with the fully neutered plaint of: "The Polarbears are drowning because of the ice that are melting. They have to swim up to 100 km to find food. Global warming needs to be stopped." Actually, you'd think these Swedes would welcome anything that warms the world enough for their testicles to descend.

HT Watts Up With That?

Posted by Vanderleun at March 26, 2009 11:21 PM
Bookmark and Share



"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

The catch is, polar bear populations have stubbornly risen for decades with the abundance of food, mainly seals and metrosexual naturalist.
We could certainly help with that.

Posted by: james wilson at March 27, 2009 9:11 AM

I care more about driving my car and heating my home than I care about polar bears. Actually, now that I think on it, I really don't care if the polar bears melt. If the seal populations get out of hand we can go and shoot them with guns. Wouldn't that be cool? BANG! gotcha ya stupid seal.


Posted by: jwm at March 27, 2009 10:09 AM

What a disappointment.

I was hoping some enterprising souls were using it NOT as a way to get life jackets on the bears, but a Meals on Keels pay-per-view event. The greenies on the boats (aka the sacrifices) would surely be free-range, corn fed and nicely marbled for maximum nutrition.

A good way to thin out our herd. We can let the Arctic Circle of Life sort itself out.

Posted by: DMC at March 27, 2009 12:47 PM

A seal goes into a bar and hops up on a seat. The bartender asks what the seal will have. The seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks."

Posted by: Mikey NTH at March 27, 2009 5:21 PM

Polar Bears think metrosexual naturalists have an interesting combination of textures.

They are soft on the outside and crunchy on the inside.

They also think they taste just like chicken, which is not surprising.

Posted by: Nahanni at March 28, 2009 7:47 AM

Gerard, you're a guckin' fenius.

Posted by: Rick at March 28, 2009 6:06 PM

The last creatures on this planet that you need to worry about are polar bears (unless you get too close to one). They are bears, they can and will eat anything they can get their paws on, and that includes just about all animals and plants. They will not starve. No matter what. You on the other hand, white man, you need to start worrying.

Posted by: Fat Man at March 29, 2009 6:34 PM

What happened to the Swedes? They used to be Vikings and stuff. Now they're Abba weasels and their women are rape bait for Muslim immigrants.

They have become the Eloi.

Posted by: Roderick Reilly at March 30, 2009 2:17 PM

A baby seal walks into a club...

Posted by: Hog Whitman at March 31, 2009 5:18 AM

Ha.....I will pay good money to watch one of those fools put a vest on a polar bear. I bet the bear wins.....

Posted by: Roger at April 1, 2009 8:35 AM