A Duke University-led analysis of available records shows that while the North Atlantic Ocean's surface waters warmed in the 50 years between 1950 and 2000, the change was not uniform. In fact, the subpolar regions cooled at the same time that subtropical and tropical waters warmed.But just what is "Blobal Warming" and why is it so horrifying to contemplate? Well you might ask. And it is just as well our crack staff of research assistants, Igor, Goofy and Dopey, have discovered the answer in an obscure scientific paper published last year in The Science Creative Quarterly which the media has covered up:
Global warming will bring back the Blob.Chilling, what? And now we have, as you can see in the screencap above, confirmation from no less an authority than NASA that Blobal Warming is here and is real. Be afraid. Be very afraid.Yes, that Blob. The Blob.
The Blob has been dormant for half a century, but it's out there and the only thing preventing it from squishing through the streets of our cities right now, leaving a slimy trail of death in its wake, is the biting cold of the polar ice cap. Remember? That's where the Air Force marooned it after a bunch of teenagers neutralized the thing by freezing it with CO2 fire extinguishers. Steve McQueen himself assured us that we were safe "as long as the Arctic stays cold."
As long as the Arctic stays cold. . .
Meanwhile, as we wait for our GLOBAL-BLOBAL-DOOM!™, more stupid science news keeps pouring in.
BRAINS! Your Stupid Soviet Science Nostalgia Pictorial. Inside the Moscow "Abandoned laboratory of studying a human brain" from brusnichka.com
UPDATE: Yet More Fresh Doom! First the global freezing, then the ozone hole, then the alar scare, then the warming, then the comet strike, then the supernova explosions, then Rogue Black Holes Roam Milky Way, and now, now this, the FINAL INSULT! --> Massive Gas Cloud Speeding Toward Collision With Milky Way! I tell you if this keeps up, sooner or later every single person alive on the Earth today is going to be dead.
Posted by Vanderleun at January 14, 2008 4:02 AM | TrackBack"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated to combat spam and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.
