God vs. God vs. GOD Himself

Batter my heart, three-personed God

These days it seems that everybody has a blog except John Markoff. Even the Higher Powers are getting in the game.

First we've got the besotted Allah flatulating away:

Why are there no radical Muslims on American television, kufr? Have you noticed this? Last night Allah was watching the profane, retarded piece of dog shit you call "The Next Joe Millionaire" ... [Allah Is In The House]

Then ye olde curmudgeon Yahweh chimes in with:

Welcome to the blog of Yahweh, the one and true God for the faith of Judaism. Yahweh would like to give mad props to Idiot Villager for hosting His page, as well as providing him with a spiffy email address.... [Yahweh Is In The House]

And if that weren't enough, now God Himself is linking into this daisy chain:

Junior(Why hadn't I created Row v. Wade before he was a bun in the oven? ) wants to know, since he is subject to overwhelming fits of mental flatulence:

Why are there no radical Muslims on American television, kufr? Have you noticed this? Last night Allah was watching the profane, retarded piece of dog shit you call "The Next Joe Millionaire" and it struck him that there were no muslims... [Allah Is In The House]

The Muslims, and their ergot-addled deity, Al, are clearly not ready for Prime Time, Cable, or PBS (Even though they slip in there from time to time by waving their scimitars, dropping cash, and promising camel humps to the young producers of all four sexes.)

The Muslims, in case you haven't been paying attention, are more of a work in progress than the platypus. I keep meaning to tweak their DNA and get them in the groove, but frankly its a pain in the ass and I have more interesting things to do than sort out a bunch of camel jockeys whose idea of a good time is to strap on some C4 and play spank the monkey with the detonator.

I'll get around to it soon, but right now I've got my whole staff pulling an all-nighter on the sixth planet of Denebutarq in the Crab Nebula trying to get this advanced methane slime mold to emit nitrogen. So hang in there until I can get this done. Okay? [GOD Is The House]

What's next? Buddha? What is the sound of one hand blogging?

Posted by Vanderleun at November 5, 2003 5:29 PM