May 27, 2004

Behind the Scenes at New York Times Headline Meetings

Al Gore Giving His Fans
That "Kennedyesque" Look


Embittered Demented Democratic Gerbil Spews Froth at Move-On Fornication Festival Nope. Too long, detailed and accurate.

Amnesia Strikes Gore As He Calls Bush Most Dishonest President Since Nixon
Nope. Nixon's dead and most Move-On'ers slept through their American History class. They won't get it.

If he had a tenth as much passion in 2000, Al Gore would be President today.
Nope. Too close to the painful truth.

Al Gore Has Full-Blown Dean Episode. Closet Deaniacs Snort Bathtub Meth and Cheer
Nope. Reveals too much about the Democrats energy source

Gore Leads Democratic Party in Defection from Prozac Nation
Nope. It'll piss off our pharmaceutical advertisers

Gore Joins Kennedy as Full-Time Hit Man for the Kerry/Soprano Family
Are you kidding. That was our idea. Don't want to leak that.

Gore Calls for Rumsfeld and Rice Resignation. Stops Short of Calling for Bush Assassination
Close but cut that down a bit. No sense in telling them the news we've got lined up for next week.

Gore Calls for Rumsfeld and Rice to Resign
That's it! It's got it all and it doesn't tell anything about his behavior. Nice and calm. Who could object to a headline like that? It gives the news without giving the news. That's what we're about down here in the New York Times Headline room. Take the rest of the week off.

Source -- The New York Times

Or try Here for a more penetrating analysis. Short form: "That Al. He crazy."

Posted by Vanderleun at May 27, 2004 11:00 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

What I want to know is how come the guy looks about 15 years older than he did in 2000.

Posted by: Dean Esmay at May 27, 2004 3:55 PM

While behaving like a two year old now.

Posted by: syn at May 27, 2004 7:16 PM

What's amazing is, the guy's obviously forgotten what MoveOn was founded to move on from.

Speaking of the Sopranos, Gore's starting to remind me of Johnny Sack, the big bag of resentments ready to blow:

Tony: He used to be a pragmatist.
Silvio: Some people are better at being No. 2's.

Posted by: Crank at May 28, 2004 11:24 AM

Why the Ad Hominem arguments? I would expect more from a Republican grope-fest.

Posted by: Jeremy Brendan at May 31, 2004 10:38 AM