July 6, 2004

Hair Club for Men Is Taking It to the Street

Not content with a stronger America symbolized by a Vice-President with Clairol hair, candidate Kerry today also promised a stronger America with no teeth.

I must confess that when the underwhelming news of Kerry selecting Edwards
filled me with inertia this morning, my pre-caffinated brain immediately went into free association mode. For not particular reason, I received the following messages concerning Kerry's mind-numbing choice:
Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut, Sometimes You Don't
"The closer you get, the better he looks."
"Tell me, tell me, tell me the answer. / You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer."
"Hate that gray? Wash it away."

I suppose it is the sign of a weak mind to leap from the momentous non-event of a veep naming to a series of advertising and second rate Beatles lyrics from John Lennon's late smack abuse period, but maybe it is just the sign of a mind relieved by knowing that, at last, our long national nightmare of "Who could it be?" is over.

John Edwards. Who knew? Well, to judge by the repainted "Kerry-Edwards" airplane, huge "Kerry-Edwards" billboards, vast hand-held "Kerry-Edwards" placards, and reams of other printed detritus, several printers and sign makers did.
(Memo to the vast throngs of "investigative" reporters swarming all over this story for the last aeon: Try a little legwork in the paint and print shops on your beat. You might get a scoop that doesn't spell Gephardt. If there are too many printers for you to cover, take the hint and look at those few companies that can actually paint on the outside of jet airplanes.)

So now we have it. The choice will come down to two teams: one a couple of former CEOs who have actually run companies before going into politics, and two lawyers who have spent their lives either in politics making things hard for companies to succeed, or bribing politicians while preparing to sue companies that succeed.

A choice, not an echo-echo.

Posted by Vanderleun at July 6, 2004 10:09 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

OK so this is not a winning team, but look how much free advertising the hair club will get :)

Posted by: david at July 6, 2004 10:32 AM

former CEOs? cheney's bness performance might be worth bringing up (then again, yr talking about halliburton--how much did they overbill us?), but bush's bness exploits are nothing to brag about. harken? arbusto?

bush is a spoiled rich kid who's driven every company he's been given into the ground.

kerry and edwards sure do have nice hair though.

Posted by: jb in nyc at July 6, 2004 2:25 PM

"former CEOs"? With a straight face?
I'm delighted you folks intend to focus like a laser beam on the most trivial crap you can think of to ridicule the Kerry team. How about another article on snowboards, intern affairs, botox, or SUVs? That should turn the polls around for you.
"President Kerry."
You may as well start practicing now. It won't get any easier.

Posted by: Ken at July 7, 2004 3:06 PM