June 4, 2004

Not Camelot, but Hamlet

"Consider the following hypothetical situation. In September 2005, the president is informed by his CIA director that they have concluded that there is a one in two chance that North Korea will transfer five nuclear bombs to Osama bin Laden within the next month, and that, after the transfer, despite our best efforts, the CIA judges that it is more likely than not that bin Laden will succeed in detonating at least one of them in a major American city, resulting in 1 million to 3 million deaths. Should the president consider taking pre-emptive military action? And let's assume that the president is named John Kerry." --Tony Blankley


To pre-empt or not to pre-empt:
that is position paper I must commission.

Whether tis enhancing for America to suffer
The fiery loss of Philly or Boston,
Or to deep fry Syria and Korea
And by one MIRV strike end them,
Is to me a serious question
Worthy of endless reflection
While the bombs fall in our direction
Or are snuck in without detection.
But hold, I shall rap not for I be white.

To prevaricate, to procrastinate;
No more; and by a procrastination to say we dither and extend
The conference, the committee,
And the thousand congressional quagmires
That government is heir to, tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd.

To waffle, to straddle,
To flip perchance to flop:
Ay, there's my nub.
For in that flip what flops may come
When three million Americans have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give the Stock Market pause:

Where's the respect I'm due for wooing France,
For handing back Iraq back to terrorists?
Have not I turned my tail enough to these mortal enemies
Hoping in Kofi and Chirac to keep them calm?

Why now do they come to kill us in our beds
When I to the entire Arab League
Have made apologies, have worshiped Allah,
And wept the larger tears than Bill,
And taken from our Pentagon the dough
To buy even one measly clip?

Why now do they whip us with a bright Islamic Bomb
In our fair city? Why do they say that all our law
Shall be but the law of their harsh Prophet, Allah,
(Blessed be his name in my White House)?

Have I not converted with one Executive Order
The National Cathedral into Mosque?

Must I with my bodkin bare look on while all our land
Cowers or converts to the enemies whose caves
Befuddled all our brass?

I, who sent our armies home to harsh defeat
And mustered out all men
And kept the girls alone for they looked nice in uniform.
Oh, I must be the Princely President of Peace at Any Price.
It was the promise made to the mighty MoveOn.

Thus doth my conscience make cowards of us all
And what once was our hue of resolution stern
Now is sicklied o'er with my pale cast of thought
That enterprises of great pitch and moment
With my sallow glance are turned to UN pleasing
And lose the name of action and gain the name of shame

-- Soft me now!
The fair Teresa! Nymph, in thy cash flow
Be all my debts paid off. We shall away
In Air Force One to France while those
Who put me here shall in their own blood drown.

Tomorrow will be time enough for policy.

Posted by Vanderleun at June 4, 2004 1:20 PM
Bookmark and Share



"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

I am speechless...

Posted by: FH at June 4, 2004 6:39 PM

I had an inkling to do Kerry as Hamlet myself, but you did it much better than I could have. Nicely done.

Posted by: Brian O'Connell at June 6, 2004 2:50 PM