November 5, 2004

If Politics Imitated "The Godfather"

THE OVAL OFFICE (EVENING)

KARL Kerry's dead. So is Little Johnny Edwards -- Michael Moore -- Soros --Daschle -- Teresa. Today I settle all Family business, so don't tell me you're innocent, Dan. Admit what you did.
(then, to CHENEY)
Get him a drink.
(then, to DAN, as KARL shifts in his chair)
Come on. Don't be afraid, Dan -- Come on, you think I'd make my President a man without a 60 Minutes connection? I'm even going to be taking a seat on Viacom's board after the Inauguration , Dan--
(then, after CHENEY hands DAN a glass of wine)
Go ahead, drink it -- drink
(then, after DAN drinks)
No -- Dan -- you're out of the Media business, that's your punishment. You're finished. I'm putting you in a limo to the Columbia School of Journalism.
(then, to CONDOLEZZA RICE, as he reaches out his hand)
Condi?
(then, after CONDI hands KARL a limo voucher, which he hands to DAN)
I want you to stay at the Columbia School of Journalism, but no messing with young students, boy or girl. Understand?
(then, quietly, after DAN nods and hmmms)
Only don't tell me you're innocent. Because it insults my intelligence -- and makes me very angry...
(then)
Now who gave you the documents? Daschle or Teresa?

DAN (after hesitating) It was Teresa.

MICHAEL Good.
(then, after standing)
There's a limo waiting for you outside to take you to the Columbia School of Journalism. I'll call your wife, to tell her what classroom you've been assigned.

DAN (as he rises, starts to protest) Karl, please...

KARL Come on -- get outta my sight.

(DAN turns. RICE helps him put on his coat)

CUT TO: West portico of the White House. SECRET SERVICE AGENT is putting Dan's luggage into the rear of the limo. DAN gets into the front seat.

CUT TO: Interior of car. OLIVER NORTH is seen behind DAN, in the back seat.

NORTH Hello, Dan, remember your reports on the Iran-Contra scandal and and what you did to my run for office ...

Posted by Vanderleun at November 5, 2004 4:51 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

North: "Hello, Dan, remember your reports on the Iran-Contra scandal and and what you did to my run for office ..."

Dan: "It was just business! Nothing personal, just business..."

North: "So is this."

Posted by: FH at November 5, 2004 5:46 PM

Now you've done it. I'm going to be up all night overdosing on GF1, 2, & 3.

Amazing contrasts between the individuals and parties. I'll be a while recovering from the discouraged feeling I get in meetings counting the likely Kerry voters and asking "how is it we have so totally different priorities and worldviews?"

Posted by: Ari Tai at November 5, 2004 9:18 PM

You write some of the funniest SH*T!

Thanks for keeping me sane.

Posted by: Dos Equis at November 6, 2004 9:12 AM

The word is that Arlen
Spector has been invited on a fishing trip. I don't blame the boss. He was supposed to be family. He fucks up, the local affiliate wants him gone. So, the boss goes down bails him out, pisses of the affiliates. Hey I understand that Arlen is senior family and you have to be seen taking care of family. Then Arlen doesn't deliver the goods. Doesn't even seem to try. Then after the war is over, He threatens the boss. The affiliates bitch, Other senior family members start to rehash old insults, tricks, and fuck ups. If he stays he'll weaken the boss's influence, and put us all at risk. Time for him to retire whether he wants to or not. Time for him to get in the boat.

Posted by: toad at November 7, 2004 4:01 AM