April 10, 2009

Exurban League: Obama Reaches Out to 'Moderate' Pirate Community

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"Since the pirates are still holding the captain, I have sent FBI negotiators to facilitate his safe and speedy release. I assure his friends and family that I will not stop until this man-made disaster is resolved in a peaceful, tolerant and ecologically-sound manner.... For too long, America has been too dismissive of the proud culture and invaluable contributions of the Pirate Community. Whether it is their pioneering work with prosthetics, husbandry of tropical birds or fanciful fashion sense, America owes a deep debt to Pirates." -- The full text of Obama statement can be found at that outpost of sanity deep in our southwestern wastes @ Exurban League

Posted by Vanderleun at April 10, 2009 3:28 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Are you kidding? That sounds like a spoof. "Man made disaster" my aching asshole.

Posted by: pdwalker at April 10, 2009 8:30 AM

"That sounds like a spoof?"

Sir, (or madam), you must realize that we at exurbanleague pride ourselves in our meticulously researched, fact-based writing.

Every story we post is 100% truthful and free from hyperbole.

Except the ones that aren't.

;)

Posted by: Exurbankevin at April 10, 2009 9:08 AM

JFK: Ich bin ein Berliner.

Obama: Ich bin ein buccaneer.

Posted by: Gagdad Bob at April 10, 2009 9:28 AM

There should be a parrot(teleprompter) on his shoulder, a gold tooth or two....and where the heck is the PRADA eyepatch?????

Posted by: alvah halle at April 10, 2009 10:33 AM

Look for the new film about our latest scuffle with Somalia, Black Dove Down.

Posted by: Gagdad Bob at April 10, 2009 12:42 PM

Obama's attitude reminds me of the faint-hearted cops in Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance: (appropriate operetta, one might say)

Sergeant: When a felon's not engaged in his employment –
Police: His employment,
Sergeant: Or maturing his felonious little plans –
Police: Little plans,
Sergeant: His capacity for innocent enjoyment –
Police:'Cent enjoyment
Sergeant: Is just as great as any honest man's –
Police: Honest man's.
Sergeant:Our feelings we with difficulty smother –
Police: 'Culty smother,
Sergeant: When constabulary duty's to be done –
Police: To be done.
Sergeant: Ah, take one consideration with another –
Police: With another,
Sergeant: A policeman's lot is not a happy one.
Police: Ah!
All: When constabulary duty's to be done, to be done,
A policeman's lot is not a happy one, happy one.


Sergeant: When the enterprising burglar's not a-burgling –
Police: Not a-burgling.
Sergeant: When the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime –
Police:'Pied in crime,
Sergeant: He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling –
Police: Brook a-gurgling,
Sergeant: And listen to the merry village chime –
Police: Village chime.
Sergeant: When the coster's finished jumping on his mother –
Police: On his mother,
Sergeant: He loves to lie a-basking in the sun –
Police: In the sun.
Sergeant: Ah, take one consideration with another –
Police: With another,
Sergeant: A policeman's lot is not a happy one.
Police: Ah!
All: When constabulary duty's to be done, to be done,
A policeman's lot is not a happy one, happy one.

Sing-along version here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q74qThTL66o&feature=related

Posted by: Connecticut Yankee at April 10, 2009 3:18 PM