February 11, 2005

CNN CLARIFIES CLARIFICATION: We Cannot Support the Troops.

(Atlanta 2005-02-11) 6:35 EST -- Bowing to the blogstorms of the insidious right to become transparent, CNN this afternoon issued a clarification of their previous clarification via CNN's official spokeswoman, Christa Robinson.

"At a meeting between Eason Jordan and CNN executives this afternoon," Robinson stated, "it was agreed that this unfortunate incident was a learning opportunity for CNN on many levels. Accordingly, it was the consensus of all those at this high-level meeting that CNN immediately adopt the high-principles of journalistic professionalism, consistency, and transparency demanded by the blogosphere.

"It is, then, the official position of CNN News that, since we do not and cannot support the imperialistic American war in Iraq, we do not and cannot support the American troops in Iraq, either as units of the occupying and oppressive fascist forces of Bushism, or as individual Americans.

"We fully realize that by making our previously opaque position perfectly transparent, we are putting our journalists in danger of being assassinated by the stormtroopers of Amerikkka at an even greater rate than that divulged by Chairman Jordan to his friends in Switzerland last month, but that is an acceptable risk.

"Accordingly, we give fair warning to the goose-stepping minions of the Uber-Fascists in the White House, that all our reporters will be armed to the teeth with RPGs, trained to kill on command, and have their SUVs fully armored.

"Chairman Jordan fully endorses this new position and, although he will not make himself available for comment, may be quoted as saying, 'Bring 'em on!'

"Thank you. There's a backgrounder available at Easongate

Posted by Vanderleun at February 11, 2005 3:36 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.


Stick a fork in, he's done.

Posted by: Ole Eichhorn at February 11, 2005 9:45 PM

Oh he's far from done. He'll just take his bile to a new address. CNN/Time Warner couldn't take any more stress to the bottom line.

Jordan is now a certified martyred hero for talking 'truth to power'. May the high fee speaking gigs begin in remote corners of the globe such as Paris, Munich, Athens...

At least he's lost the CNN megaphone from which to spout his nonsense.

I friends with insiders at CNN international, Mr. Jordon the new hero, has done a wonderful generous deed by leaving his wife and two kids to provide shelter and comfort to Danny Pearl's wife and child.

What a guy.

Posted by: phil gilbert at February 12, 2005 8:00 AM