March 16, 2010

Climate Strange Report: Potential Gaian-sized fart lurks beneath Antarctica

antarctica-660x495.jpg
The continent that dealt it.

Science News via Wired Science (there's two "trustworthy sources") sends the world to hell today with the latest TEOTWAWKI fear bomb with Methane May Be Building Under Antarctic Ice

"If the methane produced by the bacteria gets trapped beneath the ice and builds up over long periods of time — a possibility that is far from certain — it could mean that as ice sheets melt under warmer temperatures, they would release large amounts of heat-trapping methane gas."
Here's how it goes, I guess. Over the vast millennia the suppressed bacteria are building up a gigantic bubble of gas under the ice. Suddenly, due to global warming, global cooling, earthquakes, and a comet strike that ice is thinned, weakened, and the vast continental sized bubble of methane just can't take it anymore and comes ripping to the surface.

"This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends...." Sensing curry in the wind, a scientist at India's Antarctic station, Dakshin Gangotri steps outside and decides to enjoy a smoke. He flicks his Bic and..... kerblooey! The Kali Yuga begins and the world ends with a bang and a whimper.

Posted by Vanderleun at March 16, 2010 1:10 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

We're all gonna die!

Posted by: Fat Man at March 16, 2010 1:52 PM

I still say there's something down there and it's farting.

Posted by: Rich Fader at March 16, 2010 2:43 PM

The continent that dealt it.

The INcontinent that dealt it.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at March 16, 2010 3:02 PM

I thought it was The Man keeping the bacteria down.

Posted by: David C McKinnis at March 16, 2010 3:36 PM

Disturbing methane fields seems like a very economical method of dealing with the next ice-age.

Posted by: james wilson at March 16, 2010 3:45 PM

In spite of all the countless previous cycles of global warming, including temperatures higher today, we are supposed to be frightened? Yeah, sure.

Posted by: pst314 at March 16, 2010 4:09 PM

If North America gets one of these giant methane pockets under its landmass, will we collectively ask South America to "pull our Florida"?

Posted by: Aquila at March 16, 2010 6:24 PM

I know this is just all kinds of stupid, but if there are vast quantities of methane just sitting there, why don't we drill for it and use it as a source of -you know- energy? Or would that annoy the penguins?

Posted by: jwm at March 16, 2010 7:56 PM

I really hope Al Gore composes or decomposes a poem about it.

Posted by: Jewel at March 16, 2010 8:10 PM

here I sit
all broken hearted
the globe warmed up
and Antarctica farted

Al Gore.

Posted by: jwm at March 16, 2010 8:27 PM

BTW, Methane burps from the ocean bed are thought to be behind the unexplained Burmuda Triangle disappearances. The gas bubbles up, reducing the density of that part of the ocean - if a ship happens to be sailing past it suddenly loses buoyancy and just sinks. The gas as it exits the ocean can also cause combustion problems in aircraft with a similar result.

Posted by: Brett_McS at March 16, 2010 11:05 PM

I'll have some of whatever the scientists are on. That's a better imagination than most of the fiction I've read.

Posted by: Bill at March 17, 2010 6:17 AM

The solution to this 'problem' will be (1) increased centralized control over the economy; and (2) reduce the human population.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at March 17, 2010 7:52 AM

When someone claims that small perturbations of the global climate will result in massive, irreparable changes, just repeat this handy mantra:

"Systems with positive feedback rail. Systems with positive feedback rail."

Posted by: RNK at March 17, 2010 9:06 AM

Or would that annoy the penguins?

I annoyed a penguin once. I kept trying to explain to Marco (the penguin's name) that it was inadvertent, but he kept lunging at me. Being as how he was the mascot of the Trieste (Italy) fish market (what a life for a penguin!), one of the mongers lured him away with a smelt. A mollified Marco then plunged into the canal for a swim.

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at March 17, 2010 9:51 AM

Methane hydrates in vast quantities are sitting in the deepest parts of every ocean adjacent to continents. However, since these deposits are generated by microbes that live deep inside the earth's crust, the atmospheric climate plays no part in their formation. If we ever learn to tap these deposits we will never have to worry about energy shortages again, and the arabs can go back to herding camels. Why, it's enough to make Al Gore faint.

Posted by: Raymond Barry at March 20, 2010 8:09 AM